Ode to Disneyland RideMax

Everybody knows Disneyland is the most crowded place on earth and that it’s a huge waste of money because you stand in lines all day and ride like three rides.

Well, not anymore!

(This is going to sound like a PSA and it is.  RideMax should hire me and all of my sisters.  We are in love with RideMax.)

Go to RideMax

Apparently some company has calculated algorithms to figure out when the lines for each ride are the shortest on which days.  It costs $15 to join the website (or just use mine, email me for code) and then you pre-plan you day by selecting the rides you want to go on, what time you’re willing to arrive, when and where you want to eat, and if you need to take any nap breaks.  And then it generates a schedule for you including the wait times for each ride.

Using RideMax on a pretty standardly crowded day we were able to ride 18 rides and do a total of 31 activities.  That is miraculous.

Here is our RideMax schedule:

We had to arrive at 7:50am (I barfed on the way), and then we ran to the Peter Pan ride.  It was so much fun blitzing past everybody in a stampede with Silas crying behind.  It’s a total blast.  If you hit Peter Pan at exactly 8:05, as you get off you will see the line filling up as those poor schmucks line up for their day of lines.  Look at the rest of the schedule. Dumbo!  Even the wait times on there were longer than we waited, we just walked right on most rides.  Here’s proof:

Peter Pan.  (why are these pictures blurry?  they weren’t on my phone!)

Dumbo

Snow White.  What’s missing from Snow White?  All the other people.  We didn’t even have time in line to get adequately scared by the line décor.  We went on most of the Fantasyland rides twice, because we could.

This is what Toontown looks like WITH NO PEOPLE.

We needed another adult to get Silas and Jude on the Gadget Go-coaster at the same time, so I asked an unsuspecting stranger.  Silas grabbed her hand and off they went.

How long did you wait to meet Mickey so that your kid could cry just when you got there?  Yeah, we didn’t wait at all.  In fact, Mickey invited US in.

You may not recognize Pirates of the Caribbean because it’s empty. 

After a few hours of riding everything to our heart’s content Disneyland started to get legitly crowded.  At this time RideMax doesn’t bother sending you to wait in a 40 minute line, rather it suggests that you just chill for a while.  We used this time to have an early lunch and go to the Tangled Show (where we sat in the first row, of course). 

My sister Val showed up around this time and took the kids for more Toontown while I did my own activity:

Pulling a Jim in Toontown.

Later in the afternoon RideMax tells you to use the Fastpasses that you sent a runner for earlier that morning.  This got us on Star Tours, no problem (Space Mtn was closed).

Itinerary:

Peter Pan, Dumbo, Storybook boats, Mr. Toad’s, Pinocchio, Snow White, Casey Jr Train, Toontown roller coaster twice, Chip and Dale treehouse, Mickey house, Minnie house, Toontown spin cars, Pirates, ate beignets in New Orleans, Tarzan treehouse, Haunted Mansion, Winnie the Pooh, Buzz Lightyear, Lunch at the plaza inn, walked down Main Street, listened to Dapper Dan’s Barbershop Quartet, took the horse drawn carriage, Saw Tangled show, More toontown, napped, Roger Rabbit ride again, Jungle Cruise, Tiki Room, Star Tours, Teacups, Dinner in the Pinocchio attached restaurant through which ELSA AND ANNA walked, Parade front row.

That’s 31 things.

At 6:30 RideMax tells you exactly where to sit for the parade so that you have the best view with shade AND seating.  (It’s by the bathrooms behind Alice in Wonderland, next to the Matterhorn.)

Waiting for the parade with Auntie Photobomber

And this is pretty much how Disneyland was for us:  outrageously joyful.

Thanks to Celia for teaching us about RideMax.  Thanks to Val for meeting us there at just the right time.  It was the best Disney day I’ve ever had.  The weather was perfect (you could wear a light jacket and not die from heat) and my kids were the perfect age (nobody asked to be carried even once). The only things missing were Hush and our cousins. 

The February that Never Ended

Ever had one of those months that just seem to go on forever?  How come that happens in February for me, the shortest month?

December-Valentine’s Day is a rush and then February slows to a screeching halt. 

We have a lot of winter events:  Christmas, then Si’s birthday, then NYE, then three of my sibling’s birthdays and then my own birthday.  A week after that is Mimi’s birthday and then Valentine’s Day.  And then nothing but work and school and the daily grind.

It seems like all I do is work and barf and sleep, but apparently we’ve had a LOT more fun than I realized.

All of the sudden Mimi can read!  We’ve started writing back and forth to each other as a little writing project.

Want to know what’s way better than stupid expensive Thanksgiving Point?  The free dino museum adjacent to BYU.  Also, meet Silas’ new weird smile.

Discovered a magical way to make a tie-dye cake.  We haven’t found a way to make it taste delicious.

My tiny baby sister Camille came to visit.  She flew all the way to Utah to model for her wedding dress maker.  Right is how she really looks, left is how she doesn’t really look. 

Mimi takes a million freaky selfies.

Hush and I are planning a babymoon (he will hate that term and I will cackle and say it more) in June.  Is there anything better than looking at an entire map of the world and picking places somewhat randomly?  Dying of excitement.

This is my newest prized possession for my birthday from Camille.  And the boots from Pam.  I came home from work to a cake hidden in a room full of streamers and then we went out to dinner with some fabulous friends that I’ve inherited.

 

Ran across this on Buzzfeed and it made me feel good.  It makes me want to go back to school an get a PhD.  But that would take effort.

Mimi’s 7th birthday party!  We had a lovely spa party.  We started with pedicures and then did face masks, hair styling, makeup and general fabulousness.  It was Fancy Nancy inspired.  7 year olds are the best.

Mimi and her buddy Violet.  I put hair extensions in all of those little girl’s hair.

Hush and I got this mail from JudeJude.  People ask me all the time how the kids are adjusting to having a dad at home every night of the week.  They refer to Hush to his face by his name, but to everybody else they say “That’s my dad.”  This makes him very uncomfortable and it makes me laugh.  I like to laugh at his discomfort when it’s adorable.  Houdini is Dada and Hush is their everyday dad.

Jess took some pictures of my kids for their every six month group picture.  Jude and Silas are the same size, still.  It drives Jude nuts.

This was our last snow.  It was huge rad flakes like a winter wonderland.  Hey everybody I made it through the Utah winter!   And I liked it!

This was my reward for making it through the winter: skiing with our lovely neighbors and Jimbo.  It turns out I don’t hate skiing as much as I thought I did.  And I didn’t fall down which is good because that would have hurt my baby. 

Oh!  You gotta check out Rebekah’s blog.  She’s smart and funny and new at blogging so she needs lots of blog love.  Go check her out!

My Sugar House Life

Funny story about how we met.  The kids and I were walking around the neighborhood and heard children and splashing.  We went to investigate and first I saw California license plates, then I saw a pretty woman about my age sitting on the lawn reading a real live book wearing a UCLA t-shirt.  The kids saw her son Aidan and their hot tub.  Rebekah is a recent MA grad from UCLA – and she’s a librarian!  She has a nice attorney (second, much improved) husband.  It was meant to be.  Divine providence across the street from us in Sugar House.  She started a book club and the rest is the beginning of our history.

Mimi, Age 7

Mimi turned 7 this month. 

This is what 7 year old Mimi is into.

1. Drumming.  We inherited my late brother’s drums and Mimi has picked up some pink sticks.  She’s been taking lessons for a few months and I love hearing her banging away playing the same beats my brother played while I was growing up.

 

2. Going on girl dates with me.  Shopping, eating, anything as long as it’s just me and Mimi.

 

3.  Taking pictures.

I find tons of creepy selfies on my phone every time Mimi borrows it.

4. Friends.  Mimi has a ton of friends at school.  I keep checking with the teacher to make sure she never leaves anyone out.  That’s very important to me – that she is inclusionary.   Mimi was happy to invite every single girl in her first grade class to her birthday party.  More friends means more presents!  Mimi loves the Frozen dolls Paige sent her and all the Monster High dolls.  I love those too.

(don’t judge me for the store bought cupcakes.  I was very barfy.)

 

5.  Sushi.  Houdini showed up on Mimi’s birthday and all 6 of us went out to have sushi. 

 

Some times when I’m doing Mimi’s laundry I am astounded at how long her leggings have become.  She’s getting so tall.  I’ve decided to stop feeding her.  Why must they grow? 

Funny How Life Works Sometimes

Today Hush

- drove Mimi to ballet. 

- showed up dragging in a brand new matching crib and changing table in the dark wood I like, because he noticed a good deal when he was picking up baseballs for the boys.

- started digging up the garden so we can replant

- moved and set up the hot tub and got an electrician arranged

- got us Mexican food

- played soccer with the kids

- nap guarded me while I took a two hour nap

- practiced the guitar so he can accompany a friend of mine who is a lovely singer while I read my book

and is currently tossing baseballs to Jude and Silas in the post-rain cold while the sky turns to twilight.

 

Sometimes when you’re going through hard times you think, ok, this is my life.  It’s hard.  I have to do everything.  Thems the breaks.  I can deal and still be mostly happy.

And then you are blessed beyond even your hopes and imaginings.

Funny how that happens sometimes.

 

Note: This is happening to me.  It could happen to you, other women going through horrible times.

Caveat: Hush is great but he also has his own massive character flaws.  I can’t think of any right now, but I’m pretty sure they’re in there dormant. 

PS:   Hush, I do not care if the whole world knows you’re great.  You can deal with it.  You married me, you knew I blog about things.

Sidenote: I’m aware this post is braggy, but you suffered through the epic disasters in my life so you can suffer through my grateful rejoicing.  Life must be recorded.

Who Wants to Watch Me Get Fat?!

Ok, ok, more reverently: Hush and I are joyously awaiting the birth of our offspring, due on our wedding day September 13. 

Hooray!  So excited!!

We had to get proof of baby for our insurance so we hit Planned Parenthood because I donate to them every year so why not take advantage?  Also, look at how Hush is looking at me.  That’s the look that’s the look – the look of love.

But really, the baby part isn’t happening until September.  I’m one of those people who doesn’t bond with the baby in utero because I’m emotionally protective.  I don’t imagine the scientific situation taking over my body as a baby until I hold that kid in my arms.  I make a concerted effort to not connect because I’m afraid of something bad happening to the baby and my being unable to recover from such an event.  If you have a miscarriage or something like unto it it’s very different if you think of that as losing a person with a name and an (imagined) identity.  So I usually don’t find out the sex before the baby comes.  I found out with Silas because there were other traumatic unsure things happening in my life.  Hush may persuade me otherwise, but for now, I’m not finding out the sex.  Yellow baby clothes here I come.

Possibly the only clothing items I will need to buy for offspring, as my sisters and I have bins upon bins of baby clothes.

Thus, I can enjoy the experience that is pregnancy without obsessing over the effects of all the weird things happening with my body.

Mostly what is happening is eating.  I eat so I don’t barf constantly and man, it’s already catching up with me.  I fully intend to wear stretchy clothes for the next two years.  My baby tummy isn’t showing at all really, but don’t worry, I’m making up for it by entirely letting myself go with reckless abandon.  Exercising while pregnant is for masochists, besides, where would I barf?  I’m going to get so fat it’s going to be rad.

Child endangerment in a magazine.  Also, knock it off, pregnant exercisers. DO stop the dance.

I love being pregnant.  Well, I thought I did.  All three of my pregnancies have been smooth sailing, with little nausea and no issues.  This pregnancy, however, has thrown me for a loop.  I’ve never been so sick in my life.  Every day is a Battle Royale featuring food on one side and barfing on the other.  Should I eat or should I barf?  My nose could put a bloodhound’s to shame.  I run from smells like they are a hacking cough on a subway in Asia.  I gag at the slightest provocation – I can’t even type vinegar without doing that preventative barf swallow.  It’s so sudden that Hush has many times thought I was bluffing and nearly wound up with a lap full of dinner.  Even Mimi knows when to grab whatever’s in my hands and clear the way between me and the bathroom. 

Hush came home from work and was greeted by this gloriousness.

List of things that make me gag . . . think I can make it through?

Café Zupas.  Used to be my favorite until one fateful day.

Anything that has a scent in the fridge.

Onions.

Vinegar.

Milk, depending on the time of day.

Any mention of food that is different from the food I am currently eating.  I have toast and you offer me a cookie?  Retching commences.

The smells of someone having cooked something in the kitchen.

Meat cooking.

Indian food.

 

List of things I love

Anything on the banned foods list.  Oysters.  Soft cheeses.  Sushi.  Carpaccio (raw beef with lemon).

Anything I can’t get my hands on.  Brass Bear Sandwiches.  Sourdough Bread.  Skewers from Citra Grill across the street from the movies in Walnut Creek

Pam and Jim came to visit and brought me Brass Bear!

Anything that requires Hush going to the store at midnight.  I don’t know why that makes food taste so much better.

Anything that is closed when I want it.  Ethiopian food and delis.

O’Doul’s.  That wins for weirdest pregnancy craving.  I despise even the smell of beer but for some reason

when I’m pg I need to take one sip of near beer and throw the rest away.  Revolting, doesn’t mix well with prenatals.

Now let me say something about how unbelievably amazing it is to have a husband who loves you and wants to take care of you while you are growing his baby.  Hush is always good to me but he has taken his kindness to uncharted levels.  If I so much as swoon when I’m getting the kids ready for school he swoops in and takes over.  He guards my sleep and makes sure I have medicine, food, a garbage can and anything else I need in the evenings when I’m sickest.  At church yesterday I was feeling the Hungry v. Barf war coming on and he bolted home and back bringing me sliced oranges, cookies, string cheese AND hot chocolate in a portable cup.  It was like a miracle.  It’s almost like every day I spent alone while pregnant with Jude and Silas is being made up one hundred fold.  If you can at all swing it, make sure to have your fourth kid with a shiny new perfect husband.  It is a coddling experience not to be missed.  All this for housing his offspring for nine and a half months. 

Church rations provided by the kindest man alive.