Wedding to Hush
LouLou's Birth (moment's pause for me to be so glad that I blogged the best days of my life so I can relive them again and again).
And a ton of other really rad fairly excellent things have happened.
But, in the words of the narrator guy from The Princess Bride, "This one left them all behind."
Two weeks from today Hush and I get sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple. Betty Lou will also be sealed to us.
In two weeks I will have everything that I'd lost in my first eternal family restored to me, plus bonuses, vast improvements and major upgrades.
|Second Place Christmas Card, not sent because we thought it might be too obscure of a reference? |
Also, look at all my lovely freaks!
I have literally been waiting for this day since, well since before Silas was even born so over five years ago. I'd actually given up hope that it could happen. Even now, with two weeks left to go, I'm tentative talking about it, worried that some typical Nor-type disaster will strike and my hopes and dreams will be dashed anew.
To understand why this is such an important day for our family I need to explain the covenant we are making. When couples are married in the temple, they are "Sealed" which means that their bonds as man and wife and parent to child will continue after the grave. This is important in our faith because of the LDS church's emphasis on family and genealogy: they are literally trying to link the web of the human family. When couples are sealed I believe that they are eternally married which means they will be the same family in the afterlife, or that their family can and will go on forever. In the temples in the Sealing Rooms there are two mirrors facing one another, thus reflecting the two people eternally.
|Sealing Room at Salt Lake Temple|
Oddly, I relate the whole concept to the one laid out by Plato, though obviously I believe the truth and specifics are more accurate in the Mormon doctrine. In Aristophane's Speech from Plato's Symposium he essentially described humans as being two sexes combined: four hands, four feet, two heads. Man and woman as one -- united in purpose, sharing one body, connected in all ways. The Symposium explains that Zeus made people that way and then cut them in half, scattered them, and left them to find one another. I see Eternal Marriage in the same way. When we are Sealed we become as one in purpose and body. Though this is obviously not LDS doctrine, that's what Temple Marriage and being sealed to my children feels like to me. It's like Mother's Intuition on steroids. It FEELS like part of their soul is also in my body.
The LDS website has an excellent chart of what Temple/Celestial Marriage promises are made and blessings promised:
I have been Sealed in the LDS Temple before to my first spouse. I remember sitting next to him in Sacrament Meeting when people were bearing their testimonies and feeling that weird butterflies feeling that one feels before they are about to perform. Moments later and without speaking he stood up to speak. That is what temple sealing feels like to me: like I can feel the resonating spirituality in the members of my eternal family. A tuning fork is a good example. I become specifically attuned to my children and spouse. It's my superpower.
And then it went away.
When my ex-husband was making choices that were problematic that invisible tuning fork pulled at me. I had no idea what was going on but I remember those feelings and how much they hurt. I didn't learn the truth about what had actually been happening until after our divorce was finalized. We were among the 6% of divorces of LDS Temple Marriages. People who get married in the temple have a very low divorce rate.
One more note on Temple Marriage blessings. Part of it includes blessing your offspring in this life AND THE NEXT. That's why it has particular importance to me. It promises me right then and there that I can have babies for all of eternity! That's my idea of heaven.
|What my heaven looks like: tons of babies wrapped in Hello Kitty!|
Sealing Blessings are predicated on worthiness. If you maintain your temple recommend and do the things you promised in the temple you are in a good spot. If you don't you "have no promise." This is a good explanation of Temple Covenants, specifically the article at the bottom by Bruce Hafen.
When children are born to a couple Sealed in the temple, the children are "born in the covenant" which means they have all of the blessings associated. As long as their parents maintain their worthiness the Sealing blessings are in effect (whether or not their parents are Sealed to one another). I've never heard of a child being unsealed from their parents, but some couples do get unsealed. The unsealing process is tragic and unusual. In all of my time in the church I've only known maybe two people who were unsealed from their spouse. It's not something people commonly talk about and most members know little about the process because it doesn't apply to them. Sealings are only broken by the Presidency of the Church: Thomas Monson, Henry B. Eyring, and Dieter Uchtdorf. You have to apply and obtain a letter (signed in ink by all three) in order to be unsealed. I waited until Hush and I had our Sealing planned and I was 8 months pregnant with his baby to even apply and I was still shocked it was granted. I hope none of you ever experience that process.
But now we are finally here. This is actually happening. I get my tuning fork back and I get that feeling and promise of my soul being joined forever with Hush's and Lou's, to add upon that of Mimi's, Jude's and Si's.
I know I've said it a hundred times and will say it a hundred more, I am so grateful for Hush. He's everything a man should be and words could never express how much I adore him. He prefers to avoid the limelight and exposure, so much so that I practically have to wrestle him to look at the camera and he says that he "looks too nice" on my blog and also I'm not allowed to quote him. But just know he's perfect and when you see him on the mean streets of Salt Lake City high five him for being the Prince Charming of my life.
I've been toying with ending this blog then, on the day when I have fulfilled my spiritual goals of getting married in the temple and having a family. I feel like it's the end, but in my troubles I've become wiser than that. The end of this journey to regain my temple marriage is only the beginning.
The bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?”