Daffodil Days

It’s the most beautiful time of year in the North Bay.  Yellow is everywhere. 

This season is particularly meaningful for me and my three little kids. 

When I went to the hospital to have my sweet little Mimi it was in the middle of a huge storm.  The whole time I was in the hospital it rained and rained and I watched it from the window.  Mimi’s name Miranda is from Shakespeare’s play “The Tempest” and I tell her it’s because she was born on a rainy day. 

When I got out of the hospital with my brand new baby the clouds had parted and the first daffodils of spring had bloomed.  Perhaps it was the post-labor euphoria, but I swear the world was the most beautiful I had ever seen because I had my sweet little ray of sunshine.

Every time the daffodils bloom I think of Mimi, my daffodil girl.

I try to get professional pictures of me and my kids every six months, just because I always have and I like to compare how we’ve changed.

Thanks to our lovely photographer Whitney, she always does an amazing job!

Mimi age 5, Jude age 3 1/2, Silas age 2, February 2012.

Local Color

On our Fisherman’s Wharf adventure we were accosted by this lovely drive-by. 

It’s San Francisco, what are you going to do?  Naked people might ride by on bikes.

The naked bike riders made me think. 

My kids are just getting to the age where I have to start thinking about nudity and appropriateness and all that boring junk. 

I realize I’m on the fence.

There are definitely two ways to look at it, and in the above video you see both.  Some Guy turned his back and attempted to shield the kids.  I cheered their free-wheeling on.  After they went by the kids and I talked about it.  The people were riding their bikes naked just for fun, but it isn’t something kids should do.  Some day if they want to ride in a naked bike ride they can, but for now we only take off our clothes around our Mama or Dada.

I’m not offended by public nudity.  I don’t think it’s that weird, just amusing.  I like the idea of people doing what they want to do, and the rebel in me enjoys the fact that they may be offending innocent bystanders, like ourselves.  But should my little children be exposed to naked in that way?  It’s non-sexual which is, I guess, natural. 

This exposure seems to me like a celebration of the bodies God gave us.  It’s borderline lewd, but not in a necessarily sexual or disgusting sort of way. 

As mentioned, I’m Aloha about Body Image.  I like my body and I like other people’s bodies just the way they are.  If it were up to me and Mimi, we’d wear bikinis around all day every day.

Mimi and I both sleep in bikinis during the summer.

Do we shield our children’s eyes on the beaches in France?  How about the National Geographic pictures?  What about nursing mothers, should they hide themselves if they don’t feel like it?  Some Guy maintains that I don’t know how the male brain works.  I believe in the Seinfeld label “good naked” and “bad naked.”  If it’s not attractive it’s not sexual and therefore not offensive to me. 

I read an article the other day about a hat designer (ahem, milliner) in London who sent her models down the runway naked.  They were just wearing hats.  But here’s the kicker: one of the models was pregnant.  Naked and pregnant and walking the runway.  This was a hard one for me.  I like the idea of pregnant women rocking their pregnant bodies, even naked and proud.  But as a publicity stunt?  Despite the fact that I love how she is comfortable in her skin, there’s the obvious use of sex for advertising.  Or maybe it’s shock value for advertising?  Couldn’t she just have been pregnant and modeling?  That would have been a statement enough for me, I think.  I’m not 100% sure on this and could be swayed.  It’s just very interesting to me.

Posing pregnant and naked is not a new thing.  Demi Moore, Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson to name a few (clearly bastions of morality) have all posed in magazines naked and pregnant.  I don’t believe in nudity to sell things. 

But if you’re in a naked bike riding club, I say go for it.  I will cheer you and your nakedness on, maybe I’ll even join you some day.  Just don’t try to sell me anything.

Hair Oppression

When you are in a funk the absolute WORST thing you can do is change your hair.  So, of course, that is exactly what I did.

The inspiration was Uma Thurman as Mrs. Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction, and this amazingly hot girl. 

 

First I chopped it off because it was damaged from the coloring and getting too tangled.  It looked like this:

Katy Perry copied (ok, didn’t copy, just did it at the same time) my pink hair and then I saw this picture with short pink hair and grrr.  So out came the dye.

And this is the result:

With normal sophisticated hair none of my clothes coordinate very well any more.  And I have to wear makeup all the time to look not-washed out.  And I look pg in the bridge picture, but it’s just my bulky coat.

Um, I kind of totally hate it.  It’s been almost a month and I am already so sick and tired of this new hair.  I loved it at first because it was such a drastic change and I liked looking like Simone:

But I had no idea how accustomed I’ve gotten to having pink hair.  I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror without it.  I was intending to blend in a little bit as we shift from ward to ward and deal with drama. 

I’m probably going back to pink again shortly.  Or maybe blue.  This Normal thing is just not working for me.  It’s sucking my will to live.

Mama Said I Was A Dancer before I Could Walk

The eve of another fabulous production by the Danville Children’s Musical Theater sparked a conversation with Some Guy about dance and why it’s so important in my life.  My nieces and nephew and I did a preview of “Never Fully Dressed” from Annie the other night at a family party.  I teach the choreography for these plays and often bring Mimi along to watch.  She stands in the back and copies our moves so she was able to participate in the preview.  After the song Julian excitedly tells his dad, “I want to learn how to do that!” 

BUY TICKETS HERE!  Thanksgiving weekend and the weekend after, buy quickly because they’re selling out.

Some Guy has a lot of music experience but NO theatrical experience.  He doesn’t get Musicals.  I don’t get that he doesn’t get it.   The indoctrination process is happening slowly, but just wait til he sees his own kids on stage some day.  He’ll be converted.

In order to adequately explain why I love dance so much I needed to walk him through my personal history with dance: all the weirdness, all the coolness, all the uniqueness that makes dance so great.

Dance is important to me because a simple move or position can communicate something as specific as “I am a Migrant Farm worker” (remember that Ellie?) to the exuberance we all feel when we get the job or leave for a vacation or whatever the emotion might be.  The tool is the body, the medium is the music, the rest is up to the interpretation of the audience.

The following videos encapsulate what Dance is to me:  it’s weird, it’s effortlessly cool, it’s a religious experience.

Jo Baker was in Paris during the Harlem Renaissance.  She rides the line between modern, burlesque and straight up inappropriate.  She’s best known for the Banana Dance.  Skip to 50 seconds.

Isadora Duncan was an early eccentric modern dancer.  She’s thick, short weird ballet dancer who danced with scarves.  And was a complete individual.

Martha Graham Dance Company.  Martha Graham is the mother of modern dance.  Notice how she uses costumes and fabric as extensions of the dancer’s bodies.  Skip to 2:40. 

Following Martha is Twyla Tharp.  This picture sums her style up I think: imperfect angles, bent ankles, elbows, knees, etc.  Her style is also simply weird and great.

 

 

Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse.  Skip to 55 seconds.  Usually it was Fred and Ginger Rogers, but I don’t think Ginger kept up any where near as well as Cyd Charisse did.  Check out her legs.  They just don’t quit.

Jerome Robbins made the jump from ballet to modern.  Remember the Sharks and the Jets?  That’s Jerome Robbins.  Skip to 45 seconds.

And later on there’s Fosse.  Watch for wrist curls, jazz hands, and sharp angled movements.  Also big on shoulder rolls.

 

My personal favorite of all time modern dance is Alvin Ailey’s Revelations.  Set to Gospel music, this nearly all African American composition communicates faith and the weight of the world on the human spirit.  You have to watch this whole piece.  Note the crouched wings pose, that’s a theme throughout the whole piece.  I love this piece because it tells the story of a woman burdened and how she relies on the other dancer (a minister or the Lord) to both guide and support her.  Sometimes they are in sync, sometimes she can do things on her own, some times he has to be the support.  This is one of my very favorite pieces of art.

MJ.  Smooth Criminal.  One of the first dances I learned when my brothers and sisters would watch Moonwalker ad nauseum.  Iconic.

John Travolta exudes cool.  Any time that man dances he hardly has to even move to sell the feeling of a dance.  I love his understated but full commitment.  He’s a badass.

So You Think You Can Dance Season 4 dance with Mark and Chelsie.  Right dance at the right time for me, has a lot of personal significance.

And one of my favorite ballet dances:  the Waltz of the Snowflakes!  A whole bunch of ballerinas spazzing out with snow falling?  Yes, thank you!

 

Grown Up Rebels

“Punks make the best parents because they raise kids to think outside the box, to question everything they're told, to understand the impact of politics on their lives, and, above all, to be open-minded. The children of punks -- even if they go on to have no interest in the genre/ lifestyle whatsoever -- are unlikely to beat up another kid at school for being weird, and they are probably less likely to discriminate against others.”

“Why Punk Rockers Make Great Parents” by Rae Alexandra, SF Weekly.

It’s taken me a long time to reconcile my LDS culture with my personal culture.  My dad is a convert and ex-hippie and my mother is, well, there is really no simple phrase that would adequately describe my mom.  She’s righteous, theatrical, assertive, independent, and capable among many other things.  Both of them are great examples.  They’ve seen it all and accept all kinds.  I like to think they were both rebels as youth in California in the 1960’s. 

 

Pam and Jim in the ‘60’s.

I was raised with a lot of freedom – I could take BART into Berkeley and SF and be gone all day exploring.  Weekends were spent out and about learning a variety of cultural things.  We went to  theater, I went to court with my dad, we went on outdoor adventures.  Despite being raised in the suburbs we were exposed a lot of places, people and things.  For that I am grateful. 

As a teen I became particularly interested in street culture.  I’d go to Telegraph Ave in Berkeley and chat up the punk kids to see what they were all about.  My friends and I would go to the Haight and shop the killer vintage stores. 

On Haight with friends in 1999.  Caroline getting a tattoo that day, not me.

On the home front I was absolutely hideous.  Imagine your most contentious teenager and then triple that – that was the war waged between me and my parents. Our relationship was rocky and my life became rocky and my church attendance became rocky.  I emerged tattooed, pierced and kind of wild.

 

Visiting my friends Cat and Marie at BYU.  Me feeling a lot freaked.

The good news is they did not shove me off a bridge during that part of my life.  I officially apologize for causing you both so much trouble.  Thankfully I “grew up” around age 21 and met my first husband at the LA 1st ward.  After we were married we moved to London where I became even more enamored with street culture upon visiting Camden Lock and other haunts associated with punk originals – The Clash, Sex Pistols, etc.  You may see freaky people with mohawks and Dr. Martins who make you uncomfortable, I see people I’m used to being around.  Punks and weird looking people are often the most accepting non-judgmental people you’ll ever meet.

Berlin, Rome, Red, Purple.

When I started having kids I moved back into the suburban culture that I commonly associate with being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I began to look more “normal” in order to make friends and feel comfortable as a young mother in an affluent suburban neighborhood.  Time to look and act grown up, you know.  I made a lot of amazing friends, but I didn’t really feel like myself – like I was somehow ashamed of my moderately colorful past because I was blending into the culture.  I guess I assumed that LDS people, being traditionally culturally conservative, would not listen to what I say and take it seriously if I did not look like them.  I remember getting all ready for church and running my outfit past my then-husband.  “Too many spikes and pins.  Tone it down.”  And I’d usually agree with him.  I didn’t want to freak anybody out. 

New mom, looking as normal as I can.  Am I passing for normal??

But since I’ve had children I’ve found my “normal” self come creeping back in.  The hair.  The metal spikes on anything.  Lots of black and boots.  The music.  The don’t like me I don’t care attitude.  The liberal (even fascist or anarchist!) politics. 

And I think being a punk parent is can be a very good thing.

Churchbound.

Having my three little minions has given me the confidence to be exactly who I feel like being.  As I’ve allowed more of my “normal” self to the surface I have come to love the people around me for being true Christians.  I have one very good friend who recently moved from Utah and had been very much submerged in traditional culture (which is not bad, just different).  She once told me how glad she was to have her children know someone like me because they will learn that you don’t have to be a certain way to be a faithful member of the LDS church.  We aren’t all the same and that’s ok. 

And right now is the weird-Mormon’s moment.  Sure, we have Mitt Romney and John Hunstman  doing their thing.  But their “typical” Mormonhood might be the reason more non-traditional Mormons are bubbling to the surface.  Finally, after 30 years of membership in the church, I am finding some Mormons who can speak for me. 

 

Three things I want you to hear/see:

1)  Talk of the Nation

The second half of this podcast from NPR is an interview with Joanna Brooks.  Ms. Brooks is a Professor at San Diego State and her writing about Mormonism has appeared in the NY Times.  She’s politically liberal and has a voice largely unheard in the LDS community. 

2)  The video below really resonated with me.  Having children turned my heart to what is really important.  PS, HAVE I MENTIONED I WANT TO DO ONE OF THESE?!  Who makes these videos??  I LOVE this ad campaign.

 

3)  'The Other F Word

A new documentary explores punks who have children and become families.  The other F word is “Fatherhood.”  The above trailer is for a new documentary about Grown-up punk rockers and their families.  It talks about how to raise children when you yourself were a rebellious child. 

Occupy Oakland! Democracy-Democrado

The kids and I went to the Occupy Oakland Protest on Wednesday.  According to Occupy Wall Street the purpose of the movement is thus:

“Occupy Wall Street is a people-powered movement that began on September 17, 2011 in Liberty Square in Manhattan’s Financial District, and has spread to over 100 cities in the United States and actions in over 1,500 cities globally. #OWS is fighting back against the corrosive power of major banks and multinational corporations over the democratic process, and the role of Wall Street in creating an economic collapse that has caused the greatest recession in generations. The movement is inspired by popular uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia, and aims to expose how the richest 1% of people are writing the rules of an unfair global economy that is foreclosing on our future.”

The Occupy Wall Street Movement has a lot of problems, most notably a specific game plan other than storming around making noise, but I believe in public demonstrations of Democracy.  I don’t know how we’re going to stop the Oligarchy, but I know that the American Dream of owning a home, a car, and having a job that adequately supports a family is in major crisis.  The economy is a disaster and children suffer the trickle down effects.  I blame both corporate greed and our American sense of entitlement (from which I have undoubtedly benefitted and am doubtlessly guilty).  This is not the best way to run a society and a government.  The system is broken and we all do what we need to do to survive within a broken system (including sleeping with “the man,”  love you Some Guy you Insurance Mathematician genius you!)

But wait, I’m from Danville.  Isn’t that where the 1% live?  According to CNN Money.com:

“Collectively, their adjusted gross income was $1.3 trillion. And while $343,927 was the minimum AGI to be included, on average, Top 1-percenters made $960,000.”

News to readers:  you are probably part of the 99%.

Thus, we went to support the 99%, even if we ourselves are part of the 5%. 

 

Grand Lake Theater

It’s been a long time since I went to a protest, but let me tell you how empowering and incredible they feel.  The best comparison I can make is like when you hear a huge group of missionaries singing “Armies of Helaman” or something.  You feel like you’re part of something positive and supporting something that has great importance.  If you’ve never been to a protest you should go.  Mimi got into it shouting “Banks got bailed out, we got sold out!”  They were a bit overwhelmed, but were proud to walk along with the parade.

Mimi’s sign. Representing the Pony Contingency.   

My sign got a lot of amusing attention.  I never miss an opportunity to represent the fact that Mormons are among us, even where less expected.  Also I’m not-so-secretly campaigning for my own “And I’m a Mormon” ad.  Somebody out there in blog land needs to hook a Sister up with connections to resolve her irrational pining for an “I’m a Mormon” ad.  I know one of you knows somebody involved in that ad campaign.  Send them my way! 

Jude’s sign.  

Our protests have popsicles!!

 

There were far more people there than I ever expected.  Nearly every street in downtown Oakland was filled with protesters.

 

And here’s the kicker: 

WE MADE THE NEW YORK TIMES!!

Here’s our article!  Front page, people, both online and in print!! 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/03/us/occupy-oakland-protesters-set-sights-on-closing-port.html

Your Honor

Gotta go to court in a few days. Not looking forward to it. Need to address the hair and costume situation.
I'm trying to select the look that says "Nice to meet you, please rule in my and my children's favor."
What do you suggest? I do have a grown up penguin costume if the princess dress is "too much."