29 and All Is Well

Once upon a time I was awesome.
Halloween 2004: dressed as the golden bond girl from 'Goldfinger'

This is my last year of my twenties. It's been a good decade. Tomorrow is my 29th Birthday (my last birthday ever!)

Decade Reflection:

2001: 20 years old. Living in Los Angeles, going to school at SMC. Dating like a crazy woman. Met my best friend Alex.

2002: 21 yrs. Had great group of LDS friends in LA who threw me a surprise party (despite the fact that I hate surprises). Transferred to UCLA. Dated a guy 10 years older than me. Went to London for Shakespeare study abroad with UCLA. Met celebrities on a weekly basis, just hanging out in Hollywood. Went to clubs and lived it up. Glory days.

2003: 22 yrs. Had bad reputation in LA 1st ward. Graduated from UCLA, got job teaching right away at Audubon Middle School in South Central LA. Started dating non-member guy who almost converted. Got my own apartment in West Hollywood.

2004: 23 yrs. Met Dx at LA 1st in June, after my first year of teaching and his last year of law school. Had the summer of love where we went out all night and met for breakfast every day at noon. Greatest summer of my life. Engaged in October, married on New Year's. Still teaching. Moved to Hollywood.

2005: 24 yrs. Applied and then went to grad school in London at King's College, University of London to study Shakespeare. Quit job teaching. Spent summer in Dville, liquidated everything we had and then moved. Dx landed a job at a prestigious law firm. Dx and I hit 14 countries or so that year. Christmas in Rome. We were in a play together at King's.

2006: 25 yrs. Got really really baby hungry. And sad. Missed my family, it was really cold in London. We traveled all over Europe. I wrote my master's thesis and a self-help book called Good Girl's Guide to Life After High School. In May we found out we were expecting and moved back to Dville. Dx got a good job, we moved to WC.

2007: 26 yrs. Had Mimi. Life changed forever. Could not believe I had accomplished childbirth, and not only that but I was good at it! Greatest baby in the whole wide world. Got job as a professor in PH. Pregnant with baby 2 in November. Dx started his own law practice.

2008: 27 yrs. Moved to house in Dville. Had baby Jude in August. Taught choreography and English writing. Raised 2 babies.

2009: 28 yrs. Taught, raised 2 babies. Dx travelled a lot. Had live-in nanny and housekeeper! Went to Tokyo in May. Found out about baby #3 in June. Phil got married. Moved in with parents in September, had baby Silas after Christmas. Three babies in less than three years. Woot.

At the beginning of my twenties I evaluated myself by how much of the world I'd seen and what I was able to accomplish. I was really motivated by hard things: getting into UCLA, teaching somewhere really challenging, going to a great grad school, publishing a book, going to exotic lands. The transition into being a stay-at-home mother has been a shock to my psyche. My accomplishments now feel so much more mundane: I got everybody out the door on time, I spent one on one time with Mimi, I understood what Jude was trying to communicate, I helped Silas' diaper rash improve. As busy as I am with three and the challenges they present, I still feel a little less like myself when someone asks me, "What did you do today?" And I reply "Tended my kids." It feels good to slow down, to not worry that I didn't leave the house at all for two days and have nothing to do but swing my arms on Saturdays. I've become a homebody and I like it. Mine is a simple life right now.

Baby Silas

Last Monday we welcomed our third Cr*ven baby into the world. Mom took me to the Doctor at 10am and then we went straight over to the hospital. Once there they quickly (not quickly enough) hooked me up to the IV and dosed me with beloved Stadol. Celia, Paige and Dx showed up bearing food that I was starving for but was not allowed to eat. My favorite: Boudin sandwiches and Jamba Juice. Mom was grateful to be relieved and hurried home to watch my "big" kids. Pam doesn't stay for births because she doesn't like watching her daughters in pain and feeling helpless. I had plenty of doulas though Ellie was missed because she was in Utah visiting her other family.

Yes, I wear makeup while I'm in labor. I'm going to be looking at these pictures for the rest of my life, I better look presentable.

The epidural (and pitocin) came next but only worked on ONE SIDE. It made me so mad. I'd had a bad epidural situation last year with Jude requiring a second one right before delivery. This one numbed me from my armpit to my toes on one side with little pain relief on the other. Once again I had to coax the stinking anesthesiologist to give me more drugs, all the while freaking out because "I can feel this and it hurts!!" I went from a three to a ten in about an hour or less. My sisters and the nurse kept me entertained discussing Elin Woods' predicament. Angie was a great nurse. I know the staff over there by name, they recognize me when I come in.

Paige and Celia: Labor coaches / drug advocates. Also the sisters who chat with the doctor and giggle while I'm pushing out the baby. Hello! Pay attention! I'm giving birth!

Born at 38 weeks, Silas is my smallest baby. 7.12 is little for me!

Finally they rolled me onto my back and viola! The epidural worked! Actually it worked a little too well, I couldn't feel anything at all, not even whether I was pushing or not. I just pretended to push and didn't tell anybody that I had no clue what was going on. I just made a pushing face. Apparently that worked because out came the baby in about 10 minutes. Who are these women who have to push push push for two or three hours? That would be awful. I'm really lucky I'm built like some kind of brood mare.

Video of Celia pushing out my baby. Hilarious. She is available for your next birth if you need help pushing.

Out comes baby and he is covered in vernix. He was the quietest newborn I've ever heard and still is. He was breathing just fine but never bothered to let out a big old wail. He was silent. I'm sure he'll find his voice soon, right now we're just enjoying the little squeaks.

Proud parents with baby Silas

The whole family came pouring in (Phil and Aub bringing a replacement Boudin sandwich). Sadly, no children under 16 were allowed in the hospital because of H1N1 so Mimi and Jude didn't get to meet baby until we came home.

Then began the battle of the names.

Before we went into the hospital Dx and I had determined that we really liked Sky. But my whole entire family didn't like it and they voiced that opinion loud and clear. During the birth Celia read from one of our name lists and mentioned Silas. As soon as she said it I knew that was the kid's name but I also knew that Dx was only so-so on it. I like that Si sounds like Sky and that Silas sounds like Silence, though it means Saver. For those of you who've forgotten, Silas was one of Paul's missionary companions in the NT. I wanted to use Dx as a middle name because we like that name and who knows if we'll ever have another boy.(ps, and in case you didn't know, there is an A between D and X, but I don't write it on my blog because I try to give Dx some internet privacy in case one of his clients google him and find me) Silas Dx sounds euphonious.

Dx came to the hospital the following day and added about ten more new names into the mix, resulting in the strangest list you've ever seen. Everything from Romeo to Isaiah to Cruz to Ulysses was suggested. It was funny to me because I'd already named the baby and had been calling him that from hour 1. I wanted Dx to feel like he'd come to the decision on his own, so when he suggested Dx Silas I jumped at it and quickly signed the papers. Dx tried to call him Dx, but he felt like he was speaking in the third person and switched over to Silas. Name victory!

Silas is an easy newborn thus far. He sleeps, nurses and poops. Sometimes he opens his eyes and looks around. Nursing is hard because I always have trouble getting babies to latch on, but once he's on he's a good eater. He has the cutest little parts, I spend the day eating him up.

My favorite part of this new baby is watching how Mimi and Jude interact with him. They are both in love. Jude was disinterested at first, but now he's very concerned and likes to check on the baby and practice saying his name. Mimi (despite her horrible cold that is giving me panic attacks) loves to cuddle him and watch him nurse.

Jude and Silas. 16 months and three days, respectively.

Mimi (2 years 10 months) and her new baby.

I'm very grateful for everybody who has been helping me with the children. The college kids were in town so they entertained Mimi and Jude and made my life a lot easier. Pam has been giving me plenty of sleeping time and in return I make sure she gets adequate newborn cuddle time. It's a symbiotic relationship. Everybody around here has been taking my kids, bathing them, feeding them, putting them to bed and otherwise being unbelievably helpful. I am eternally grateful.

And, for your entertainment, a video of Mimi meeting her baby for the first time. The unintelligible word near the end is "trampoline."

Tokyo Disney and the Imperial Palace

Ok, LAST Tokyo post. But really, I couldn't leave these things out.

Step Seventeen: Play the weakling.
Only on the last day did I discover that I could actually lift Mimi in the backpack.

Outside the Imperial Palace. If you go there, make sure to check the weird opening times. It was never open for us, but cool on the outside. Royalty really live there and it's in the center of Tokyo.

I still loved this child, even on the last day. Cam said today her personality is like a puppy.

And I love this angel of a child, here, 9 months.

Step Eighteen: Find their Target, or the closest approximation.

Apparently in the center of town this crazy store is their five storey version of Target and sells diapers and kid stuff.

This huge fish was in the entry way of the inexplicably named Don Quixote's.

For sale? Victory: two subway handles. I'm in love with this angel of a child.This is the entrance to their Target-like place. Got merchandising?And for all your face lifting needs, I give you whatever this air cushion on the right.

Step nineteen: Go to Disneyland, but see if you can pick a less crowded day than we did.

Actually, we went to Disney Sea, which is in the same general area as Tokyo Disney. Tokyo Disney is a carbon copy of Disneyland, but Disney Sea is completely unique and variously themed.

The Flounder ride underground in Ariel's kingdom. It was magical down there.There was an entire underground Ariel's Kingdom fully decked out with rides. Ariel is Mimi's favorite and she about died that we got to meet her. Ariel was American, which tempted me to question her resume. Is there some secret black market princess trading going on? How do I get in? Camille, there might be a future for you in this.Cute, but having kind of a hard day.Perhaps having a hard life. Seriously, what's worse than a bimbo? A himbo. What's worse than a himbo? A shimbo.This is another area in Disney Sea. You know, because the Aztecs were totally part mermaid. I don't know how this fits with the Disney Sea theme, but there it was and it was glorious.The Agrabah Marketplace. Very cool with rides and shows and snacks. Note how crowded it is. This is because we went to Disney during Golden Week, when everybody has off work. Duh.How not to lose your toddler. Do you have a better idea? Should I have put on her passport information? No leashes.

And FINALLY
Step Twenty: Buy your child the traditional costume and put it on her right before you get off the plane. Prepare to have strangers ask to take her picture. Allow them. Force her to bow and say "Arigato."

All in all, it was a wonderful trip. It was totally doable and you should do it too. Here are some sites to cheap tickets. I'm telling you, with the economy being what it is, they're practically giving tickets away. Sure it was hard and expensive and sometimes a little tricky, but these memories will last a lifetime and when you're all in, it probably costs about the same as going on a cruise or to Disneyland. I'll love my kid's baby passports forever and hope to add to their little stamps. I hope I've encouraged you to give it a try, and if you need help, I'm happy to assist you in going foreign.

Bon Voyage with your Bebes.

www.kayak.com

www.aerlingus.com

www.easyjet.com

www.travelzoo.com

Tokyo with Kids Day 4

Sorry for the break, I ran out of steam. Chugga chugga, woo woo. But I am determined to create a record of our whole trip. Posterity, you know.

Step Thirteen: Thou shalt not fear the food.

The weirder it looks, the more you should try it. People wouldn't eat it if it wasn't palatable, so give it a go. Mimi won the most adventurous prize, followed by me and then Jude and lastly Dx, the food wimp.

Octopus cupcakes, anyone?

What REAL fish sticks look like.
And so we bought one. The white flakes are salt. Mimi and I gave it a go, but found it, well, fishy.


Step Fourteen: Go in search of Fashion.

These girls are the real deal, Harajuku Girls in Harajuku, as made famous in the US by Gwen Stefani. On Sundays the Harajuku neighborhood is filled with young people participating in dress-up play. They put on full head to toe costumes and a persona and interact with each other playacting. The costumes are fabulously outrageous, and unfortunately, our camera gave up the ghost that afternoon. There were better specimen, but this is our best picture. They're dressed like outlandish lolitas.

Thank you, Harajuku girl, for the obligatory peace sign.

Step Fifteen: Go where you hear loud noise.

We were taking a lovely walk through the park on Sunday and heard this loud music in the distance, so we walked over to see what was going on. We happened upon this dance festival and it was one of the coolest things we saw in Tokyo. So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance crew have nothing on these dramatic performers.

They dance in a warrior style, mixed with hip hop. I've seen a lot of types of dance, but I'd never seen something so frenetic and committed, look at the expressions on their faces, they're sneering not smiling. I don't know what the style of dance is called, but it was an intense experience. Check out the video at the bottom of the page, it is like nothing you've seen before. Kind of like hiphop capoeira.

Note the traditional red eye makeup.

Step Sixteen: Visit Holy Places.

Shinto is the most ancient religion in Japan, based largely on animal spirit worship. It's been around there longer than Buddhism and its holy places offer a different atmosphere from busy Buddhist temples. Ever seen those big red angular arches? Those are Shinto gates.

This is the courtyard of a Shinto Shrine. Look off to the right, see the red kimono? That's a bride in traditional Japanese dress. We were really lucky to happen upon their ceremony.
These are the prayer ema, plaques where worshippers write their prayers or wishes. They cost money. I just observed.

After the peaceful Shinto shrine, we visited the Buddhist temple in Asakusa. It was a bustling market place and packed full of people. It was an interesting contrast, kind of like the Jesus before/after cleaning out the temple story, Buddhist being before, Shinto after. These pictures were taken after the camera died that day, and aren't so good.

Mimi inside the shrine. People were throwing money into the temple and kneeling saying prayers. Mimi knelt down and said a little prayer. She always prays for Ellie, I don't know why. Perhaps because she's her namesake.
This is the pagoda outside the Buddhist temple. Secretly, I have no idea what pagodas are all about, but they sure do look cool. Before I return to Tokyo, I would like to learn more about these holy places. I felt like a big tourist at these places, but we enjoyed the sights and the food.

This is a video of one of the dance troupes. Observe how aggressive the moves are.

Tokyo with Kids Day 3

Step Nine: Put your kids in their cutest outfits. Coordinating is best. You're going to look at those pictures for the rest of your life and chances are your kids are already kind of bugging you (mine weren't, but still) so you want them to be extra cute with their hair done in order to encourage the love a little bit more. On day three we found this place called The Children's Castle. (Check the opening hours, we were an hour early and it was rough). There are five floors of fun, including a live music drum room, an indoor play structure, a kitchen area, carnival games, craft rooms and a bike riding and jungle play area with balls on the roof. It was perfect for ages 0-11 and a total local hangout for kids.

My favorite of Jude's outfits. He's such a chub. It's all the noodles he slurps down.

Fabulous kitchen area where Mimi wore aprons and prepared sushi with pals.

Step Ten: Embrace all dorkiness.

I developed an I'm-in-Tokyo peace sign pose. Dx cuddled large cuddly animals (who whacked him somewhere inappropriate.)

Notice how our kids aren't interested at all.

Step Eleven: Point order. Most menus have pictures or the restaurants have that weird plastic food outside. If it looks like you might like it, you probably will love it. I point ordered this tart. I hoped they didn't cut it into smaller pieces, but alas, they did. I could have eaten the whole thing.

Shabu Shabu is different and much better in Tokyo. I don't know what we put in it, but one of the things on the plate to the right was called Jew's Ears. Is that kosher?

Step Twelve: Bring your own baby food and formula. What the heck is this stuff? He did enjoy the snacky stuff and drinks, but I have no idea what they were and it made me a little nervous.

Jude HAD to have his own handle on the subway or he would scream.

Step whatever: This is the ancient Kabuki theater, showing a million shows each day. It's a great place to see the old style theater and people wearing Kimono. We did not see a show because we had our kids, but it was within walking distance to our hotel and very cool all lit up at night. It's on our list when we go back.

Here's a video of the kids at the Children's Castle in Shibuya. It's rockin'.
This kinda ups the ante, doesn't it Kindermusick?

Tokyo Day 2, Get Out of Town

Step Five: Go on your big nap-skipping Day trip early in the vacation. We went to the village of Hakone, located about an hour and a half outside of Tokyo. The area is known for it's hot springs and has an antiquated resort type area. It was no easy task finding our way there.Navigating the subway and the commuter trains was complicated, but no more or less so than any other subway with larger trains leaving the central metropolis to further reaching towns. To get to Hakone, we took one subway train and then the bullet train! It was really really fast. Then we hopped on one or two more trains and a bus up a windy hill. Getting to the destination is part of the fun. Step Six: Breakfast is not a sit-down meal.
We ate breakfast on the run, stocking up the night before at grocery stores or 711 type shops. Guess what things are by their pictures and hope for the best. Later on I discovered that this was totally gauche and embarrassing by Japanese standards. We were the only ones eating outside buildings. Apparently, we were tacky and inappropriate Americans. Oh, and the picture above is what I thought was a ball of rice. Surprise, it had some creepy fishy thing inside. I passed it to Mimi, she devoured it. I tell you, that child will eat anything.

Step Seven: Go where the locals go for fun.
We were guided by my trusty local friend to Yunessun, a family oriented hot springs swimming extravaganza. We're a big water family. This suited us fine, except for the suits. I had to wear A ONE PIECE and Dx had to wear a shirt because of our tattoos (no, not matching.) You'll notice a lack of pictures of me in this section.

Women were given these silly suit cover-ups, men wore matching blue ones. This was the indoor section. We (ok, I) was the only white person there. The pools were all warm and there were, say, 30 of them and they were all different. Kiddie pools, cave pools, outside water slides. And then the piece de resistance: the mountain valley of outdoor fantastic (anti WofW) pools. Starting with:

The coffee pool, made, smells and tastes (what? Of course I tasted them!) just like coffee. It's a bit disconcerting swimming in a big brown warm bubbly pool, but it smelled divine. Further up the hill was this lovely typical Japanese bath, complete with cherry blossoms and floating reed thingys. Jude found them delicious.

Here's Mimi climbing into the Green Tea pool. (Also delicious).

And here is the Crvn family bathing in a bacchanalian Red Wine pool. We didn't drink this one.

There was also a honey pool, other types of tea, a sake pool, a charcoal pool and a number of others. The only thing missing was the chocolate pool. Yunessun was unlike anywhere I've been in America or elsewhere (the Gellert Baths in Budapest included. If you've been there, you know.)

Step Eight: Try everything.

At Yunessun they offered the legendary fish pedicure. You put your feet in a pool and fish nibble off bacteria and dead skin. Sounds horrible, yes? We totally did it. Watch:

I am the one shrieking.