4/20/13

“Only You Could Pull That Off”

Why do I look like this? “Just Because” by Jane’s Addiction
 
Scripture:
Job 31:15  Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb?   (Side note: Once upon a time I wrote a book called Good Girl’s Guide to Life After High school which devoted an entire chapter to this scripture and a religious perspective of ‘fashion’.  But that happened a lifetime ago.) 

 

Story and Pictures:

If I had a nickel for every time some one said “Only you could pull that off” to me I would swim like Scrooge McDuck in my piles of money.

Wth does that even mean?  It takes everything in my power not to whip back at them,

“So what you’re saying is, ‘Only you would be willing to look that insane.’ or did you mean ‘I cannot believe someone would put that on their body, I sure as hell wouldn’t’?” 

Any way you slice it, “Only You Could Pull That Off” is a backhanded compliment.  They’re not saying you look fabulous.  They’re acknowledging that you are dressed differently than how they would ever “dare” to dress because wearing what you’re wearing would make them feel like an idiot.  Hey Nor, what you’re wearing would make ME look like a freak, but because you ARE a freak it looks ok on you.

And around and around we go.

And to “Only You Could Pull That Off” I say, “Yep.  It’s called not caring what other people think about you.  You should totally try it some time.”

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Fashion is a strange animal.  To me fashion is wearable modern art.  It’s mixing things together in an unexpected way that adds up into something artistic.  When I get dressed in the morning I do not get dressed for anyone other than myself.  I don’t dress for shock value.  I don’t dress for attention.  The only outside influence I DO consider is whether or not what I’m wearing will be perceived as disrespectful to whomever I might see.  Other than that, I wear whatever the hell I feel like wearing.

My particular aesthetic is influenced by punk culture, a little bit of goth, some avant gaurde stuffy stuff and function.  What I wear often reflects the way I’m feeling, as I think is the case for many of us.  My requirements are that I cover my shoulders to nearly my knees in accordance with my religious commitments.  It took a long time for me to figure out how to dress like “myself” using those parameters – I felt for a long time stifled and forced to dress in a more boring way, and I did that for a few years.  But it just didn’t take.  Normal doesn’t look normal on me.  It looks weird and kind of sad.

Take Lululemon, for example.  Those workout clothes are adorable.  Everybody who wears them looks great, almost great enough to not require getting dressed in real clothes at all.  Even the fattest ass looks great in Lulu.  So one day I trekked in there and bought myself head-to-toe adorable Lululemon.  I was so excited to put it on and rock it to kindergarten pickup.  As soon as I got it home I put it on and looked in the mirror.  I looked stupid.  I looked like I was “trying-to-and-can’t”.  I looked like a Lululemon poser.  Back to the store it went, then I took that $230 and bought a whole new wardrobe at my favorite thrift stores.  I don’t know why I felt so silly in that unequivocally attractive workout gear.  I threw on my black t-shirt, sparkly leggings and combat boots and was good to go.  Ahhh.  Normal.

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Fashion formula for kinda boring.

Sometimes people ask me if my style is a result of my divorce, or an attempt at reinvention, or some way to obnoxiously prove myself.  It’s not.  I have always been fashion-weird and I’m kind of ambivalent about it.  I feel comfortable so I don’t really think about how it’s interpreted by others.  Occasionally when I’m out with my girl friends who dress adorably and more traditionally I am aware of looking different, but it doesn’t really matter.  The other day I wore exercisey-type clothes and a friend of mine stopped me and said, “I hardly recognized you!” 

I have discovered that when you dress off-center the general public makes assumptions about you and you have to be doubly on your toes.  For example, if my kid is doing something moderately questionable and a stranger’s judgment passes over their face it is invariably doubled when they see what I look like.  Like a parent who looks like me would OBVIOUSLY have little hellions for children.  That annoys me to no end.  At the same time I DO like it when I’m given opportunities to demonstrate that fashion is just a side note for me.  The other day when I was teaching the women’s class at my church I intro’d with explaining that my hair and style is just my theory of beauty and not a comment or rebellion against anything in particular.  When I look in the mirror it makes me happy to see colors and contrast, soft and punk, infantile and sophisticated.  That out of the way, I was able to get on with teaching without the distraction.  It’s just appearance, you know.  It doesn’t really matter.

The things I look at online and the fashion I’m drawn to in magazines inspire me, and not just in a “oh, she’s wearing mint, I shall buy something mint” kind of way.  I think we all get fashion ideas from other people or magazines, the ones I look at are just apparently different (not better or worse) from the ones most people consume.  The fashion choices I make make sense to me, to the aesthetic I appreciate.  If you look at my Pinterest style board you’ll see what catches my attention as interesting fashion choices.

Here are some inspirations and interpretations for your amusement.  Please bear in mind that I HATE posing for pictures and that the majority of these were taken by my five-year-old.  Explained in this way I hope that you kind of “get” my fashion choices.

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It feels good to wear a tutu.  You should try it.

 

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Hoodie, cotton candy hair, black lipstick.

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Do you have any idea how comfortable I am in this outfit?

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Gothic Game of Thrones meets Workaholics?  I say yes!

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Beetlejuice meets Bitchin’ Barbie and Zac Posen.  Makes sense to me.

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When I was in high school my dad brought me home a pair of Docs from London.  I had them for three days and then he accidentally THREW THEM AWAY.  I have never recovered and I cannot stop buying boots, mostly Docs.  And the leggings?  I originally called them my rocket pants but was corrected.  They are shuttle pants.

 

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Audrey Kitching inspired by Frida Khalo with teal blue hair.  Goes with the Sex Pistols shirt.  Perfecto.

 

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There’s just something so easy about punk clothes.  The more you wear them the better they feel, wear them every day if you want.  Zero pretense. 

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Grungy pinkhairdon’tcare paired with ethereal material.  Reminds me of Courtney Love and grunge princess slip dresses. 

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Fluffy fur coat, little bit of sparkles, and romantic pastel colors.  And the Unabomber in the background.  (like that, Pet Name?)

 

And then just a few more things that I think about when I’m getting dressed.  If I had to sum up my taste in three pictures it would be these:

 

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How much I want to be wearing each of these outfits.

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Sandy.  Tell me about it, stud.

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aaaaaaannnnd this Cotton Candy Monster.

 

Maybe I never grew out of tutus and sparkly things.  So what?  Fashion does not reflect character nor intelligence nor even class. 

So the next time somebody says to me, “Only you can pull that off” I think I might respond, “What does it take to pull something off?  Why don’t you have whatever that is?”

4/13/13

And then there’s LA

Song:

Keren Ann: My Name is Trouble

 

Quote:

“Sanity and Happiness are an impossible combination.”  -- Mark Twain.

 

Pictures, Stories, and Even a Home Video at the end:

I love LA.  I lived in Hollywood for six years while I was going to UCLA and teaching in South Central.  Many of my friends still live there and I visit a few times a year.  Every single time I go there I think, “Why do I not live here?”

Reason 1 to move to LA:

Alex.  J’adore Alex.  Alex and I met the first day I moved to LA when I was 19.  She and I were single in LA together and even roommates for a while.  We’ve traveled together, gotten in huge fights, had kids around the same times, we went to UCLA together, we are just old good friends.  We bring out the best (and the worst) in each other, but we speak the same language, understand the gospel the same way, and have the same priorities: raising kids.  There are a million ways I could sing the praise of Alex (she is an excellent relationship consultant, 75% of what I know about fashion and art comes from Ms. Alex, she’s a great mom) but mostly she’s just a great human being and dear friend and effortlessly cool. She lives in the OC, but we won’t hold that against her because she’ll make the trek up to Hwood for whatever fun is happening.  Alex is a maven: she knows what’s next with art and fashion and I’m continuously impressed by her.

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Reason 2:  Fun things going on All The Time.

I feel alive in LA.  There’s always tons of activities and events and people to meet and places to go.  Every time I go there I run out of time before I run out of things to do.  I’m dying to see the Kubrick exhibit at LACMA, I love going to Santee Alley in the Fashion District Downtown for cheap stuff, there are Art shows, and Japan town, my favorite Doherty Mansion to visit, Wi Spa to be scarred by (that deserves it’s own post), and Runyon Canyon to hike. 

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Four people I love at the Wi Spa.  Some of my LA LDS crowd.  Not a normal one in the bunch. 

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At Doherty Mansion

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Doherty Mansion in the Hills above Beverly Hills.  Favorite place with my friend of 12 years Nathan.

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Santee Alley buying weapons for my boys.

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World of Leggings?  Oh, yes.  Down with pants!  I

Reason 3:  The Church might be more true there.  (True-er?  Truer?)

Last time I was in LA I attended a ward where the Relief Society President had purple hair.  Lots of the people who go to church are converts and people who have wandered and comeback.  They’re a band of freaks and I love them.  They wear their issues and their doubts on their sleeves and they are stronger for it.  I fit in.

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Sitting in the exact seat where I met my first husband (Houdini – because he can magically make himself and money disappear).

Reason 4:  These people.  Some of the most interesting, kind, hilarious and good people I am fortunate to know live in LA.  I want my kids to know them and be raised around their eccentricities and talents.  Fashion designers, artists, filmmakers, creative types.  Also, my sister Val and Alina who have “real” jobs.

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Reason 5:  It would be great to be raised in LA.  I think my kids would really benefit from being raised in this type of urban environment.  The drawbacks are the quality of schools and the smaller primary.  I’m a firm believer in parental education levels determining children’s ability, regardless of early academic environment.  And as far as a smaller primary and smaller influence of LDS children, that just presents different religious challenges and it doesn’t deter me.  I think my kids would dig that diverse environment.

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Rocking out at the tempting Temp.

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On one of our LA adventures June 2011 making a music video with Brett.

This was the outcome:  My Punkrock Kids

4/11/13

Fashionista

Song:

 

Icona Pop: I DON’T CARE, I LOVE IT

“You're on a different road, I'm in the milky way
You want me down on earth, but I am up in space”

Scripture:  Link below.

Pictures and Story:

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I am SO LUCKY to have a little girl who loves to be fabulous.  Mimi dresses herself and the concoctions she invents often blow my mind with their awesomeness.  I let her wear whatever she wants and she rarely disappoints. If you’re going to have a girl it’s a huge bonus that she’s the girliest of frilly pink skirt-wearing rockin’ girls.  Would I still love a tomboy?  I guess I never have to find out! 

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Sequin pants with a tulle skirt and a homemade flower crown.

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White fur coat and chucks.

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Working orange into the rotation, topped with a bit of cheetah.

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Rock n’ roll matching leather jackets for the three minions.

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Little fur vest shrug goes with everything.

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Oh, and then there’s Easter.  Easter requires a full on gown.  We went to the fabric store where she picked out the pattern and the fabrics.  I made the bodice but then handed it over to the master seamstress Pam.  What, your kid doesn’t hunt for eggs in a ball gown?

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Mimi dressed me this day.  Fur vest inspired by Game of Thrones.  You have to be brave to wear a big hairy vest.  Mimi said I rocked it, but I have some doubt.

 

 

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I love it most when we both happen to be dressed rad on the same day. Pictures ensue.

 

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This picture perfectly represents mine and Mims’s relationship these days.  We are in sync.  On Saturday morning Mimi and I cuddled on the couch and listened to Elaine Dalton’s talk about mothers and daughters.  And I died of joy.

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Having my little Mimi in my life is living giggling fashionista proof that God loves me.

4/9/13

La Brisa Photography Family Pictures

It’s one thing to get fabulous pictures taken in Hawaii by a professional sweetheart photographer, it’s another one entirely to have somebody write something like THIS about me:

Click here:

Something that makes me smile ear to ear.

http://labrisaphoto.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-c-family-joy-session-hawaii-b.html

Go click through.  And then go to Hawaii and have B take your pictures.

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Thank you La Brisa Photography!

(they have photographers all over the US and will fly to your location.)

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And this is the fabulous Ms. B. 

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Going Somewhere?

I put Judejude to bed hours ago, all snug in his jammies. I went in to check on him and he's fast asleep fully clothed, with shoes on.