WWPD: What Would Paige Do?

Today I am in love with Paige. She shops for my kid and babysits with no advance notice, thus a post honoring the force of nature that is Paige.

Growing up with Paige was like growing up with a bad-influence aunt around the house. Ever read those books 'Bad Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want'? Well, Paige could have written that book. I may be notorious, but Paige is infamous for a variety of reasons.

Reason 1: The Paige Bite

When you let Paige bite your candy bar, she invariably takes the biggest bite her mouth can handle. This is an accepted and expected practice. Any time anyone shares a bite of anything, one runs the risk of the biter taking a Paige bite. Even E's husband and small child will complain, "You took a Paige bite!" if you take more than your fair share when biting.

Reason 2: "Though She be but little, she is fierce."

I have memories of Paige getting in trouble during her high school years. She and Nate would fight, she would get in trouble for sneaking out, she'd bring home curly haired liberal heathens, her boyfriends would blow things up and then come over bleeding and begging for medical help. When Paige got married, Dad gave her husband Shakespeare's play 'The Taming of the Shrew,' not because Paige is shrewish, but mostly because it contained the line "though she be but little, she is fierce." You do NOT want to get on Paige's bad side, by some sort of divine power, she knows exactly what to say to hurt your feelings and scar you to the core. However, if Paige is picking on someone other than you, it is HILARIOUS! It's kind of like Russian roulette: everybody's number eventually comes up as the subject of taunting, but when it's not your turn the game is very fun.

Reason 3: WWPD?

Another coined phrase in our family (which you are welcome to adopt) is "What Would Paige Do?" This is MUCH more fun than the traditional WWJD. When you get into a confrontation that has you on the verge of tears, think to yourself What Would Paige Do? Paige would rip 'em a new one. Paige would tell them exactly what she thinks and Paige would get exactly what she wants. She has no fear. Paige may always get what she wants, but she damn well deserves everything she gets because she has more confidence and moxie than any other woman I know.

Reason 4: All Access Pass

Paige can get in anywhere. I once saw her sneak three children over the age of 2 and herself onto an airplane using a borrowed ID, just weeks after 9/11. She can get into any concert for free and sneak all the way up to the front. Her method is to simply overwhelm and barge through any and all barriers.

Reason 5: Paige the Guinea Pig

If you want to do it, Paige has probably tried it. She has the medical knowledge of any nurse, has dealt with every physical ailment, been everywhere and read (skimmed) almost anything. Need to know the side effects of this pain med? Paige knows. Want to plan a trip to Europe? Paige will tell you where to go. Have a rare tropical disease? Paige has either had it or will give you meds to stop it. Her pregnancies are worse than yours, her kids are louder, her husband fixes less things around the house than yours does.

I feel sort of sorry for the people out there who just know Paige via her blog, which is mercifully tame in comparison to the real Paige. Aside from being tough as nails, Paige is also extremely generous. She loves my baby -- the picture above is just minutes after Mimi was born, below is P with Mimi dressed as a chicken.