In the age of social media it is impossible to avoid evaluating your life against the reports of others. While it's easy to feel jealous of or discouraged by all the different lifestyles represented in my facebook feed and Instagram, I find the diversity of daily life amongst my peers fascinating. Some of my friends travel every week to exotic places, I haven't left the country in five years. Some of them have outlandish hobbies like roller derby and running marathons, I use my free time seeking silent alone time. Some of my friends can hear their own thoughts all day long, I can't remember what my inner voice sounds like.
Nearly every day when we look at the vacations and accomplishments of the online personas we consider our own lives. Rather than feeling jealous, I feel validated in the path my life has taken. I'm having excellent thirties too.
1. In my 30's I have amassed the basic required baby accoutrements and can buy the silly extraneous things like fabulous bows. I know what to spend money on and what is useless.
2. In my thirties I know how long a mattress lasts.
3. Because of my labors at 27, 28, and 29 I now have three proficient helpers that I've trained. I have a posse that I'm proud of and who I get to teach things that they can be proud of. Mimi reads the directions while Jude carefully stirs the chocolate pudding for our haipua pie. Because I have experience I know their ability levels -- Silas can't be trusted with large bowls of liquids, Jude can.
4. In my thirties I have learned to seek out friends who are happy in their own lives. I've learned not to spend time and energy on girlfriends who take more than they give. I've found my people with similar interests, educations and happiness levels so there is little to no competition and life comparison between us.
5. In my thirties I've found the balance between my children and my spouse. Parents upstairs, kids downstairs. Us against them.
6. In my thirties I have abandoned any attempts to eat like an adult. I live on candy and veggies, just like I always have. It's just who I am. Also I only buy pink and cheetah.
7. In my thirties I am planning for my future. This is my fourth baby and, God willing, I ain't done yet. When I'm in my sixties my brood will hopefully have doubled, then shortly thereafter multiply by family. My life will be full of the family of my own making. That, to me, is wealth.
8. In my thirties I am volunteering in my kid's classroom and marveling at what they're teaching children these days. Algorithms?! I get to see what type of learners my kids are and think about how to cultivate their talents. This keeps me mentally stimulated.
9. In my thirties I've learned about juicing. It's weird and usually yucky. But pulverizing that produce is so satisfying.
10. My thirties have brought me to an area of unusual diversity in Utah. The above photo shows an assembly and I count at least six different races of children. The values I developed in high school are realized here. Our elementary school focuses on the things that are important to me: music, dance and arts. I will never tire of watching my children imitate volcanos and dance to weird drum beats. P$, this school is free.
11. In my thirties I can feed people by the dozen. I'm good at preparing menus and making all the food. If your kids are over I'll feed them. It won't be fancy sustainable or anti-biotic free, but it will generally cover the food groups and be edible to children.
12. In my thirties I have learned to not only tolerate but welcome large groups of children into my care. We had a ten person play date last week and it was great. I got a ton of work done and it didn't stress me out the way it might have in my twenties. I've practiced at managing people, I'm good at it.
13. In my thirties I've cultivated the humor in my children. In our family it's better to be funny than pretty much anything else. It's the highest compliment you can get. Here Jude is giving crazy eyes while pretending to drink a Redbull and wearing Mimi's cheetah vest just for laughs.
14. In my thirties I have permanent stuff. Like paint colors. I'm paralyzed by the fact that because we own this house I have to set it up assuming I'm going to live in it forever. I had one wall success with the masculine pink, but now I'm stuck and I don't know what color to paint my room.
15. And yes, in my thirties I still have pink hair. Hush asked me the other day when I will change to my lady hair -- like the hairstyle all of our mothers adopt permanently at some point. My children have no memory of my normal hair, it's been pink for four years now. Hush obviously hasn't ever seen it au natural. Pink IS my natural color. I don't think I can grow out of it. I don't care about "pulling it off" at any age. It's just what is: not a statement, not a rebellion. It's just what I like when I look in the mirror. It starts out super bright and then fades intentionally to my preferred pale pink. It's irrelevant.
My thirties are everything people said they would be: that time in ones life when you know who you are, are fairly secure in your career, and are generally confident in your decisions. Thirties are good. I don't think I'm going to need a midlife crisis next decade.
Posts
Isolated lego room.
