Grown Up Rebels

“Punks make the best parents because they raise kids to think outside the box, to question everything they're told, to understand the impact of politics on their lives, and, above all, to be open-minded. The children of punks -- even if they go on to have no interest in the genre/ lifestyle whatsoever -- are unlikely to beat up another kid at school for being weird, and they are probably less likely to discriminate against others.”

“Why Punk Rockers Make Great Parents” by Rae Alexandra, SF Weekly.

It’s taken me a long time to reconcile my LDS culture with my personal culture.  My dad is a convert and ex-hippie and my mother is, well, there is really no simple phrase that would adequately describe my mom.  She’s righteous, theatrical, assertive, independent, and capable among many other things.  Both of them are great examples.  They’ve seen it all and accept all kinds.  I like to think they were both rebels as youth in California in the 1960’s. 

 

Pam and Jim in the ‘60’s.

I was raised with a lot of freedom – I could take BART into Berkeley and SF and be gone all day exploring.  Weekends were spent out and about learning a variety of cultural things.  We went to  theater, I went to court with my dad, we went on outdoor adventures.  Despite being raised in the suburbs we were exposed a lot of places, people and things.  For that I am grateful. 

As a teen I became particularly interested in street culture.  I’d go to Telegraph Ave in Berkeley and chat up the punk kids to see what they were all about.  My friends and I would go to the Haight and shop the killer vintage stores. 

On Haight with friends in 1999.  Caroline getting a tattoo that day, not me.

On the home front I was absolutely hideous.  Imagine your most contentious teenager and then triple that – that was the war waged between me and my parents. Our relationship was rocky and my life became rocky and my church attendance became rocky.  I emerged tattooed, pierced and kind of wild.

 

Visiting my friends Cat and Marie at BYU.  Me feeling a lot freaked.

The good news is they did not shove me off a bridge during that part of my life.  I officially apologize for causing you both so much trouble.  Thankfully I “grew up” around age 21 and met my first husband at the LA 1st ward.  After we were married we moved to London where I became even more enamored with street culture upon visiting Camden Lock and other haunts associated with punk originals – The Clash, Sex Pistols, etc.  You may see freaky people with mohawks and Dr. Martins who make you uncomfortable, I see people I’m used to being around.  Punks and weird looking people are often the most accepting non-judgmental people you’ll ever meet.

Berlin, Rome, Red, Purple.

When I started having kids I moved back into the suburban culture that I commonly associate with being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I began to look more “normal” in order to make friends and feel comfortable as a young mother in an affluent suburban neighborhood.  Time to look and act grown up, you know.  I made a lot of amazing friends, but I didn’t really feel like myself – like I was somehow ashamed of my moderately colorful past because I was blending into the culture.  I guess I assumed that LDS people, being traditionally culturally conservative, would not listen to what I say and take it seriously if I did not look like them.  I remember getting all ready for church and running my outfit past my then-husband.  “Too many spikes and pins.  Tone it down.”  And I’d usually agree with him.  I didn’t want to freak anybody out. 

New mom, looking as normal as I can.  Am I passing for normal??

But since I’ve had children I’ve found my “normal” self come creeping back in.  The hair.  The metal spikes on anything.  Lots of black and boots.  The music.  The don’t like me I don’t care attitude.  The liberal (even fascist or anarchist!) politics. 

And I think being a punk parent is can be a very good thing.

Churchbound.

Having my three little minions has given me the confidence to be exactly who I feel like being.  As I’ve allowed more of my “normal” self to the surface I have come to love the people around me for being true Christians.  I have one very good friend who recently moved from Utah and had been very much submerged in traditional culture (which is not bad, just different).  She once told me how glad she was to have her children know someone like me because they will learn that you don’t have to be a certain way to be a faithful member of the LDS church.  We aren’t all the same and that’s ok. 

And right now is the weird-Mormon’s moment.  Sure, we have Mitt Romney and John Hunstman  doing their thing.  But their “typical” Mormonhood might be the reason more non-traditional Mormons are bubbling to the surface.  Finally, after 30 years of membership in the church, I am finding some Mormons who can speak for me. 

 

Three things I want you to hear/see:

1)  Talk of the Nation

The second half of this podcast from NPR is an interview with Joanna Brooks.  Ms. Brooks is a Professor at San Diego State and her writing about Mormonism has appeared in the NY Times.  She’s politically liberal and has a voice largely unheard in the LDS community. 

2)  The video below really resonated with me.  Having children turned my heart to what is really important.  PS, HAVE I MENTIONED I WANT TO DO ONE OF THESE?!  Who makes these videos??  I LOVE this ad campaign.

 

3)  'The Other F Word

A new documentary explores punks who have children and become families.  The other F word is “Fatherhood.”  The above trailer is for a new documentary about Grown-up punk rockers and their families.  It talks about how to raise children when you yourself were a rebellious child. 

Occupy Oakland! Democracy-Democrado

The kids and I went to the Occupy Oakland Protest on Wednesday.  According to Occupy Wall Street the purpose of the movement is thus:

“Occupy Wall Street is a people-powered movement that began on September 17, 2011 in Liberty Square in Manhattan’s Financial District, and has spread to over 100 cities in the United States and actions in over 1,500 cities globally. #OWS is fighting back against the corrosive power of major banks and multinational corporations over the democratic process, and the role of Wall Street in creating an economic collapse that has caused the greatest recession in generations. The movement is inspired by popular uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia, and aims to expose how the richest 1% of people are writing the rules of an unfair global economy that is foreclosing on our future.”

The Occupy Wall Street Movement has a lot of problems, most notably a specific game plan other than storming around making noise, but I believe in public demonstrations of Democracy.  I don’t know how we’re going to stop the Oligarchy, but I know that the American Dream of owning a home, a car, and having a job that adequately supports a family is in major crisis.  The economy is a disaster and children suffer the trickle down effects.  I blame both corporate greed and our American sense of entitlement (from which I have undoubtedly benefitted and am doubtlessly guilty).  This is not the best way to run a society and a government.  The system is broken and we all do what we need to do to survive within a broken system (including sleeping with “the man,”  love you Some Guy you Insurance Mathematician genius you!)

But wait, I’m from Danville.  Isn’t that where the 1% live?  According to CNN Money.com:

“Collectively, their adjusted gross income was $1.3 trillion. And while $343,927 was the minimum AGI to be included, on average, Top 1-percenters made $960,000.”

News to readers:  you are probably part of the 99%.

Thus, we went to support the 99%, even if we ourselves are part of the 5%. 

 

Grand Lake Theater

It’s been a long time since I went to a protest, but let me tell you how empowering and incredible they feel.  The best comparison I can make is like when you hear a huge group of missionaries singing “Armies of Helaman” or something.  You feel like you’re part of something positive and supporting something that has great importance.  If you’ve never been to a protest you should go.  Mimi got into it shouting “Banks got bailed out, we got sold out!”  They were a bit overwhelmed, but were proud to walk along with the parade.

Mimi’s sign. Representing the Pony Contingency.   

My sign got a lot of amusing attention.  I never miss an opportunity to represent the fact that Mormons are among us, even where less expected.  Also I’m not-so-secretly campaigning for my own “And I’m a Mormon” ad.  Somebody out there in blog land needs to hook a Sister up with connections to resolve her irrational pining for an “I’m a Mormon” ad.  I know one of you knows somebody involved in that ad campaign.  Send them my way! 

Jude’s sign.  

Our protests have popsicles!!

 

There were far more people there than I ever expected.  Nearly every street in downtown Oakland was filled with protesters.

 

And here’s the kicker: 

WE MADE THE NEW YORK TIMES!!

Here’s our article!  Front page, people, both online and in print!! 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/03/us/occupy-oakland-protesters-set-sights-on-closing-port.html

Your Honor

Gotta go to court in a few days. Not looking forward to it. Need to address the hair and costume situation.
I'm trying to select the look that says "Nice to meet you, please rule in my and my children's favor."
What do you suggest? I do have a grown up penguin costume if the princess dress is "too much."

You’re too Pure to be Pink

My streaks started out as just a few strands of color.  It became more and more difficult to separate the bleached and dyed hair from the normal looking hair.  Gradually the color was taking over my head:

 

A new plan hatched.  Here’s how we accomplished one of my silly life goals:

1)  Assemble your team.

  

Silas, my good friend and hairstylist Jody, Bea, Sol, Fifi, Batman, Cici and Mimi.  All faithfully attending the dying of the hair.

2)  Slap on some bleach.  Equal parts developer (30 proof) and bleach powder.  If it tingles it means it’s working.  Since my hair has been dyed darker (my natural color is a bit lighter than Silas’) it is harder to bleach to white.

3)  Go to work with half bleached hair.  Have students basically freak out begging to see the top half. Since the roots are virgin hair they bleach lighter and more quickly.  It’s really really ugly, like a calico cat disaster.  Such are the pains of bleaching.  It’s not an exact science.

 

Teaching Keyboarding and Public Speaking for a few weeks this summer.  It’s a pretty great job.  Today the above prompt came up – had to take picture of it for Pam (mom) and Max (nephew).  Not that either of them would fix either of those things.

4)  Freak out because Jody is late and maybe she isn’t going to finish my hair!  But no, she came and off we went to bleach again.  Typically I’d let the hair follicles rest for a bit, but eh.  My hair can take a double bleach ok.

Got my sweet kid’s hair shield thing on.  Knock off Toy Story.  Baller.  This is my yellow hair after two bleachings.  The color didn’t move much, but that is ok because I planned to dye over it. 

5) Coat your skin with Vaseline, anywhere your hair color might stain.  Notice how shiny my forehead is in these pics.

6)  Mix your dye.  All weird colors are semi permanent.  I went for stains rather than full saturating dyes.  Manic Panic stains bleached hair but isn’t recommended unless you want a soft color.  Prevada is only available to pro hair-dressers (like Jody.)  The rest you can buy at stupid Hot Topic (the devil’s store, according to Pam).  I prefer RAW and Special Effects.  Or Jerome Russell.

7) Have your hair dresser slap on the color.  Or do it yourself.  I usually do it myself.

 

8)  Get used to your new hair!

Starting a Movement

Found this little heart warming drawing at the wedding of the year (Congrats Court and PJ!) last weekend.

Rock on, Solomon!

Punk is in your Soul

I was working on some shoes the other night and my older sister Paige started asking me about the punk movement. Is it the music aspect or the fashion or the lifestyle that makes one “punk”? How do you qualify?

I guess when you’re putting spikes on your shoes your family might want a bit of an explanation. I’m not sure I can explain it myself, but I think if you boil it down it’s a form of self-expression, like life-art.

I don’t know which came first with my interest in punk, the music or the fashion or the art. They kind of go hand-in-hand. I originally got interested in the Velvet Underground. Velvet Underground were compatriots of Andy Warhol and the whole Factory scene (he was their manager and they his studio band). You’d know their song “Walk on the Wild Side.” Thus, fashion, art and music were all part of the genesis of the punk movement. In the early 70’s John Cale made bad decisions and Lou Reed shot off into his solo career. Later he joined with David Bowie (and recently the Killers on one of my favorite tracks ever, “Tranquilize”). I remember loving Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” when I was in seventh grade. How on earth did I stumble upon that? And Bowie, of course, is every child of the 80’s alien symbol of awesomeness. How could we not be mystified by The Labyrinth? I wanted to know all things Bowie. I remember thinking as a 13 yr old, Ziggy Stardust? Who is that? I need him in my life. My fave of his is “Rebel Rebel.”

But back to the 70’s. London in the seventies vomited up bands who paired the aggression, fashion and attitude of the New York bands, both glam and otherwise (including the New York Dolls “Personality Crisis”, Iggy Pop “Lust for Life,” and T. Rex “Bang a Gong”) with politics. Thence came the Sex Pistols, my personal favorite punk band. Heard of Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious? They were part of the Sex Pistols. “God Save the Queen” is punk’s national anthem and it’s an attack on British conformity and reverence to the monarchy. They frequented Vivienne Westwood’s clothing store “Too Fast to Live Too Young to Die” and the band became the inspiration for much of Westwood’s clothing. Hence, the pins, spikes, leather, red plaid, deconstructed clothing look. Pretty much everything that looks punk can somehow be traced back to Vivienne Westwood. I lurve her.

Along with the Sex Pistols were The Clash. They’re another punk pioneer group, widely called “The Only Band that Matters.” I kind of agree. They headlined a concert in 1978 called “Rock against Racism” and they kept ticket prices low at concerts to avoid giving money to “the man.” They pretty much made no money which is an interesting anti-consumerist position for a band to take. You’d know “Rock the Casbah” and “Should I Stay or Should I Go” and probably “London Calling.”

So those were the major Old School punk groups. But Old School Punk became artsy and pretentious, so Street Punk developed as a return-to-roots movement that happens every once in a while. Punk goes in waves. I don’t like much Street Punk (called Oi). Too gritty. Then in the mid-90’s Green Day moved from Street punk to a more commercial band – basically they sold out. But they still make good music and they're great live. Also in this group are Ska Punk including my two favorites Rancid (related to Operation Ivy) and Less than Jake. In the 90’s there was Skate Punk (The Offspring, NOFX, Face to Face, Bad Religion). I like this subgenre and I saw some of these bands at Slim’s in SF when I was a teenager.

Betsey, Vivienne W. now (old with orange hair) and in the 70’s.

Punk fashion today looks exactly the same as it did in the 70’s, except with a lot of glam thrown in. And that brings us to Betsey Johnson. Remember John Cale of the Velvet Underground? Well that’s Betsey’s ex husband. She was part of the Velvet Underground / Andy Warhol scene! She’s been in and out of style since 1978 but I think she really blew up fashion-wise when she started making accessories and handbags around 2003. I bought my first Betsey Johnson dress at a thrift store on Telegraph Ave. in 1996. It was hot pink. It still fits, but maybe for Some Guy’s eyes only. Betsey has really married art and fashion, with big punk elements thrown in. She needs to hire me to design shoes for her.

So when Paige said, “I like it, I just don’t really get it” it got me thinking. Where did all this come from? How is it still relevant in my mom-life in the suburbs? Is it possible to be punk and drive a minivan?

Punks on the Street . . .

evolve into Madonna’s punk phase which inspired Lady Gaga (as does Andy Warhol) . . .

which evolves into Madonna goes back to the roots – Warhol. It all comes back to the Factory, folks!

I remember when I learned I was pregnant with my third child worrying about having to make the jump into minivan life. I had an X5. It didn’t fit three carseats across. I was talking to my then brother-in-law about the commitment it takes to officially give up on cool and buy the damn minivan. He turned to me and said, “Your car does not define you. Punk is in your soul.” I bought the minivan. (And yes, of course it’s black!)

This is the phase my life is in right now and I think it’s pretty hardcore. Sure we live in a glamorous quiet suburban town. Sure I rock pack-n-plays. But I’m going to wear what I want and be as leftist as I please and look how I want and take my kids on urban vacations. I just like to live where I can get a freaking parking spot.