The No-Stretchmark Pregnancy

I’ve written about this before, about 7 years ago.  Time for a refresher course.

If you’re pregnant it’s likely that you’ve considered or contended with the dreaded stretchmarks.

I am 16 weeks into my fourth pregnancy and I don’t have any glaring stretchmarks.

Life is unfair?  Nope.   I am 100% genetically predisposed to stretchmarks.  I just got this information at the right time and I successfully avoided letting my skin get the best of me. 

Also I had good motivation:  I have thousands of dollars invested in bikinis and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let those go to waste.

Me summer 2013 with the first child that was once housed in that torso, and some chips that I was eating.  Head cut off to reduce vanity implications and because I am the consummate professional who cannot have bikini pics floating around on the internets.  Photo for scientific proof purposes only.

About 10 years ago I made the acquaintance of a female body builder who was the mother of one of my students.  She was a babe.  We were about the same size, but she showed me pictures of her in full body-building form and it was like a completely different person.  She would increase 50 lbs of muscle or more and then shrink right back down to a normal sized body.  She often wore half-shirts and tanktops to pick up her kid and I finally asked her, “How do you go from being gigantic to small and back again without a single stretchmark?  Are you just genetically blessed?”

Not my student’s parent, but looks just like her.  Could actually be her.  I dunno.

“No, I have an anti-stretchmark routine” she said.  Then she taught me and now I’m teaching you.

Here’s How I Reduced and Avoided Stretchmarks:

1.  Buy a vicious shower brush or sponge.  The texture should be firm, and most brushes I’ve found easily were not firm enough.  If the bristles bend easily it’s too soft.  Think a nail brush or the texture of a kitchen sponge with yellow on one side and green on the other.  The natural looking sponges are also effective.  The Body Shop sometimes have sufficiently firm brushes.

2.  When you’re in the shower, scrub your torso in circles as hard as you can stand.  The purpose of this is to increase circulation which brings blood to the surface of the skin and it sloughs off the outside layer.  The first circle should make your skin turn red but obviously not lacerate.  I think the technical name for this is dry brushing, but I do it wet.  I scrub anywhere on my body that might be prone to strechmarks:  tummy, sides, back, booty, hips, thighs.  If it doesn’t hurt a bit you’re not doing it hard enough or your brush is too soft.  If you follow this general pattern it increases lymph flow which may also reduce cellulite.

3.  Get out of the shower and while still damp rub the thickest lotion you can find all over your torso.  For the first few pregnancies I used body butter and shea butter and cocoa butter.  You can find these in the black girl lotion sections of most stores.  These days I’m using coconut oil and I’m not yet convinced of it’s magical powers.  I’ve also bought and used Burt’s Bees Belly Butter and anything from maternity stores. They mostly work, but not thick enough in my opinion.  Queen Helene is the best and the cheapest.

4.  Take a Vitamin-E pill daily along with your prenatal.

5.  Any time you feel that uncomfortable feeling of my skin is too tight (or itching), slap more lotion on there. 

Occasionally while you’re pregnant you’ll see tiny red stretchmarks, but those usually go away on me.  Also they make me panic and redouble my routine.  I don’t have a solution for the stretchmarks that come from nursing engorgement because dry brushing hurts too much during that phase and you probably don’t want a ton of lotion on your breasts.  However, I have seen old stretchmarks from adolescence visibly reduced using this method so even if you missed the boat, try the routine anyway and see if it doesn’t help reduce the old wear.  Most of the time I’ve been pregnant I’ve been in a considerably more humid climate and I’m worried that the dry Utah air will ruin my plan, but I’m still hopeful. 

Please let me know if you find this useful and if it works for you!

 

Religious acknowledgment:  Being that I’m LDS and I wear garments I have always dressed modestly.  I have a really really hard time with this and I give myself two minor rebellions against the strict dresscode to which I generally adhere:  I wear whatever I want when I swim and I wear garments selectively when I am pregnant and nursing.  Neither of these concessions are inline with the expectations of the religion, but I justify them thusly.  When I’m swimming it’s going to be immodest no matter what and one-pieces just look weird on me.  Even Mimi pointed and laughed when I tried one on once.  I just feel comfortable in bikinis and I started collecting them when I was about 15.  When I’m pregnant and nursing I feel that I’m on the Lord’s errand anyway and my body is otherwise employed.  I usually wear either the top or the bottom, but clothing is so difficult during these times we all could use a bit of a break from restrictions that make appearing in public not-naked complicated.

Also, maybe you haven’t noticed, but I do whatever I feel like doing and find my own peace.