I Have Nothing to Report

You know what I like?  Peace.  You wouldn’t know it for all the drama that finds it’s way to my doorstep.  My mother and I often marvel at the commotion that has followed me all my life.  It’s easy to think that I’m the proverbial sh!t stirrer, and I can be when it comes to my personal political views, but when it comes to interpersonal things I am both face-to-face non-confrontational and easily devastated. 

I think people expect me to be emotionally tougher, just because I look like I have a ton of confidence.  In reality, I’m a conflict avoider.  I don’t instigate, but I do stand up for myself if necessary and then distance myself from the drama.

But this week is the Week of Tranquility. This week I am thrilled to announce I have nothing to report.

 

I don’t know why but jellyfish are the most peaceful animals to me.  They just hang out all ruffled beneath the surging sea.

This summer has been, for me, all about  minimizing conflict and drama.  Somebody causing me to be afraid or uncomfortable?  I’m closing off all contact and awareness of that person’s existence.  Someone lashing out at me?  I’m defending myself and then asking them to go away and please leave me alone.  Someone posting thinly veiled facebook statuses about me?  Removed from my newsfeed.  Nasty texts?  I don’t read them.

 

Drama trails me like I have a target on my back.  My dad says it’s because of my hair, but it’s always been this way no matter what color.  It totally wears on me and gets me down, as though there was some glaring error that causes people to want to tear me down.

Playing Headbands with Mimi.  I am a Unicorn, of course.

That’s one of the reasons I am so committed to the gospel.  I like having an external barometer for my progress – a touchstone for when people say horrible things to or about me I am able to reassure myself that I’m making good life choices.  I figure if I maintain my church attendance and visit the temple often I can look back and say I am on the right path.

But this summer has been different because I’ve made a concerted effort to remove all problem people and to forget the offenses of the people who are permanent fixtures.  I just don’t want to associate with people who want me and my kids to fail.

And it’s been working!  Having dealt with the last few years of crazy my kids and I were due for a bit of peace.  Thank you to all who have prayed our little corner of halcyon into being. 

Now we wake up early (for me 8:30 is brutal!) , go to work or cousin camp, come back to take naps, and have a casual afternoon with swimming or errands and dinner.  We cuddle in the evenings and do our little bedtime routine. 

During the day I text my wonderful girlfriends and visit with people who make me laugh and encourage me in my zany pursuits.  We go to Michael’s, we eat sandwiches, I watch my little shows.  Sometimes I get sitters and go out with friends in SF.

It’s funny, but this tranquility is causing me a lot of writer’s block.  Usually I have so much to write on my blog and so much that I can’t say that it drives me a little nuts.  Now I have so much simplicity that I have nothing to write.  It may not be great for my dear readers, but I think I’m overdue for a little bit of peace.  Don’t you?