Posts
Had Mimi + 10
Failed at marriage - 50
Had Jude + 15
Had Silas + 20
Taught College English to Freshmen and Sophomores + 5
Wrote a book + 2
Failed to market that book - 5
MA in Shakespeare + 3
Have excellent friends in LA + 5
Have excellent friends in Dville + 5
Have some very close girl friends +10
Get along with sisters +5
Sometimes get in fights with sisters -3
Sometimes get in fights with Alex - 3
Sometimes get in fights with totally random full-of-themselves filmmakers + 2
Get along with parents + 4
Wrote a screenplay + 2
Pretty good at keeping my kids happy and well fed + 10
Not that great at my church callings -2
The workers at McDonalds know me -1
I fit in my pre-marriage jeans + 5
I can eat anything I want + 3
Watch Gossip Girl religiously -3
A bit gossipy myself -3
Also watch Jersey Shore -5
Don't know much about Modern Art - 5
Have a temp rec +25
Held three jobs while pregnant + 5
Too wimpy to make phone calls - 1
Can't keep from zinging people who deserve it -3
Use swear words -1
Ok at teaching choreography for musical theater +2
Can change a tire and fix house things +2
Regular church attendance +3
Most time at church spent mad at my kids -4
Loves shopping at Betsey Johnson -1
Bargain hunts +2
Only spent about two nights away from my kids in the last 6+ months + 10
Not great at making plans with friends -1
Good party planner +2
Been to 15-20 countries + 5
Impulse traveler -1
Great reviews of teaching on reviewum.com + 3
Sorted a stack of laundry as tall as I am tonight +1
Cannot live without my cleaning lady every two weeks -2
Not that good at styling my hair - 2
Pretty good at dying hair pink +3
Good at selling cars + 2
Have fairly cute kids + 5
Relatively funny + 3
Impatient -3
Could be more service oriented instead of needy -5
Bad at writing thank you notes -2
Fastest diaper changer in the world +1
Am able to travel with kids +5
Kind of awesome at Just Dance +1
Thus, my life score today is: 80. That's like a low B. Next decade I'm going to get an A.
Failed at marriage - 50
Had Jude + 15
Had Silas + 20
Taught College English to Freshmen and Sophomores + 5
Wrote a book + 2
Failed to market that book - 5
MA in Shakespeare + 3
Have excellent friends in LA + 5
Have excellent friends in Dville + 5
Have some very close girl friends +10
Get along with sisters +5
Sometimes get in fights with sisters -3
Sometimes get in fights with Alex - 3
Sometimes get in fights with totally random full-of-themselves filmmakers + 2
Get along with parents + 4
Wrote a screenplay + 2
Pretty good at keeping my kids happy and well fed + 10
Not that great at my church callings -2
The workers at McDonalds know me -1
I fit in my pre-marriage jeans + 5
I can eat anything I want + 3
Watch Gossip Girl religiously -3
A bit gossipy myself -3
Also watch Jersey Shore -5
Don't know much about Modern Art - 5
Have a temp rec +25
Held three jobs while pregnant + 5
Too wimpy to make phone calls - 1
Can't keep from zinging people who deserve it -3
Use swear words -1
Ok at teaching choreography for musical theater +2
Can change a tire and fix house things +2
Regular church attendance +3Most time at church spent mad at my kids -4
Loves shopping at Betsey Johnson -1
Bargain hunts +2
Only spent about two nights away from my kids in the last 6+ months + 10
Not great at making plans with friends -1
Good party planner +2
Been to 15-20 countries + 5
Impulse traveler -1
Great reviews of teaching on reviewum.com + 3
Sorted a stack of laundry as tall as I am tonight +1
Cannot live without my cleaning lady every two weeks -2
Not that good at styling my hair - 2
Pretty good at dying hair pink +3
Good at selling cars + 2
Have fairly cute kids + 5
Relatively funny + 3
Impatient -3
Could be more service oriented instead of needy -5
Bad at writing thank you notes -2
Fastest diaper changer in the world +1
Am able to travel with kids +5
Kind of awesome at Just Dance +1
Thus, my life score today is: 80. That's like a low B. Next decade I'm going to get an A.
19 comments:
Happy, Happy Birthday!
Your kids are more than just fairly cute.
I love that picture of you and a sleeping Silas.
I learned a lot about you from this. You are awesome.
I think the combination of lines 21 and 22 are worth at least 25 points in my book.
you are amazing. i'd say 110 at least!
Happy Birthday Gorgeous!! I think I need to steal those shoes from you! You look hot! Love ya!
Oh, and I would say that you didn't fail at your marriage. In my opinion you have it all you had and then some. The failure was his. So Add a few more points to your score.
sorry, have = gave
Great post. If you get slightly better with each decade than you're doing great. And do we all have to take a -4 if we are mad at our kids for most of church?!
Happy birthday Lenore. You are smart, witty, real, refreshing!
Your list is incomplete:
Obsession with ice cream: -8
Best bikini collection: +5
Being funny: +9
Thinking that you're funny: -6
Gorgeous: +10
Tried for years to defail the marriage: +30
Minivan snob: -15
Won't share her dessert: -10
First music purchase (Technotronic): -20
Chose Willy Wonka: -3
Limited knowledge of mathematics: -2
Potty-mouth: -3
Eyelashes: +3
Being amazing and unlike anyone else: +10
you are an a in my book...
xxoo
ps... give yourself back 50 points because it is NOT your fault that the marriage failed.
Yeah, I'd say if you regularly attend church EVEN THOUGH you are mad at your kids throughout, you should get about 15 points. that's the hardest part of my week, or at least one of the hardest. And exdjryan should have given you more points for being amazing and unlike anybody else... in my humble opinion.
Also, your kids are ABOVE AVERAGE CUTENESS and according to my calculations, that should give you a couple more points, plus you should subtract some points from the failed marriage debit for getting really cute half-asian kids out of it. And for doing all you could to not let that marriage fail, and for going solo for all those years that you weren't supposed to be a single mom, because you were still married. That should give you probably at least an A-. Oh, and I think your book needs more points. So there, A.
Happy Happy Birthday!
More points for a master's degree
--cat
Heppy birthday. Great list although I think you are selling yourself short. Don't worry, the 30s are pretty great.
Happy Birthday - the 30's are the best! You will be hitting A's all through them I reckon.
PS Like everyone else I'm pretty sure you marked yourself down ... and I don't even know you just blog stalk you across the oceans :-)
are you kidding? you definitely short-changed yourself, darlin. more points for being funny, working your a** off at your marriage and being a great friend.
oh and i LOVE all the mat clothes you lent me! tally another couple points for service right there...
p.s. happy 30th!
Admitting your marriage was beyond salvageable and getting the hell out +50
new boyfriends- so fun it's unquantifiable
this post was classic. i loved it.
i think you should give yourself some more points for a smokin hot body, throw in a few more for it being 3 babies later, and then like your friend exdjryan said, double all those points for being able to flaunt said body in an outrgageous bikini collection.
see? sometimes shallow becomes me.
I hereby confer upon you a Lifetime Achievement Award for surviving marriage and motherhood with your equilibrium and equanimity intact.
I love this post so much.
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