Testosterone Weekend

 

Song:

Quote:

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.”
― Joseph Conrad

Pics and Story:

Move: Complete.  Well nearly. 

Moving to SLC was eerily easy.  Before I’d made the decision to move, say, around February when I was mired in paralysis of choice, things were kinda frustrating and hard.  Once I made the decision to move to SLC life just started clicking into place.  I had a little talk with God to let him know that IF I was going to move to a state I hitherto loathed he better make it easy or I wasn’t going.  And easy it was.  Almost a little TOO easy.

I flew out to SLC for a weekend and when I arrived my friends had lined up houses for me to see.  J. chauffeured me around and made all the phone calls (hurrah!  I’m phonephobic).  Nothing looked good because they all had creepy basements with places to stash dead bodies.  Until we walked into THE ONE. 

I applied to ONE house and we found out within the week that we were accepted!  Then I had to figure out my lease and it ended right on time for us to move. 

I consulted with Houdini about the move and he willingly prepared the move-away custody agreement AND gave us sufficient funds to move. 

I had plenty of time to pack my whole house all by myself (one box by Paige). 

I asked for help from the men folk to load the truck and they came in droves. 

I begged Hush (intro later) to come out from SLC to help me drive the truck for 12 hours and he came without argument and was MVP of moving. 

I arranged for Mimi to stay with grandma to finish out the school year and Mimi was thrilled to be staying for a few weeks. 

I asked my friends to be there when we arrived and I pulled up to 11 people ready and willing to help us move in. 

So here we are.  There are SO MANY great new things happening I don’t even know where to start.

I highly recommend moving when you’re a poor unfortunate single mother.  Men are so capable and helpful!  I even packed the boxes wayyy too heavy and nary was there a complaint!  They actually feel pride about getting everything all packed up just right.  In a matter of two days I think maybe 20 different men helped us and I am so very grateful.  Maybe when you move with a husband the guys think that he has to have made some serious service efforts in the months leading up.  Maybe husbands are a moving liability.  I don’t know.  Either way, people came from all over and lifted my stuff.  Some of my lady friends were around too and I appreciated them as well.

Men in Dville loading them up and moving them out. 

Then of course there was the 12 hour drive going less than the speed limit.  Also a man party consisting of Jude, Silas and Hush.  We did some roof dancing in Elko and that made things tolerable.

Then we finally arrived!  I’d forgotten how cute my new little house is.  It’s old and yellow and quaint and lush and just all around adorable.  I love it.  When we pulled up yellow irises were blooming in front of my yellow house.  It was springy and just so good.  It makes me happy every time I drive up.  There’s something to be said for loving the way your home looks.

We piled out and then the droves of party people arrived to unload the truck.  They had it done in 30 minutes and there were pictures hanging by the time they left. Best helpers EVER.

I had friends I hadn’t seen in 15 years show up, Dville people I grew up with, STRANGERS from my blog (well I guess we’ve known each other for six years, but still.), a cousin, and all my guy friends.  Look through the pictures, these people are rad.  It was more like a party.  Many thanks to each of you. 

 

 

 

Anyway, we are all settled, relieved, and grateful. 

Phase one is done and done.  Now to figure out the rest of our lives!

Hugging Moratorium Lifted

We move from the Bay Area to SLC a week from today. 

During this period of time I will both allow and welcome all hugs, upon departure from CA and arrival in Ut. 

I will not squirm and I will try to enjoy the hugging.  I typically hate hugs.  Here’s why.

 

I have emotionally prepared myself, however, if you squeeze me too tightly tears might fall out.  I will not be held accountable for aforementioned tears.

We have the move mostly under control, but if you find yourself wanting to do some service at 9am on Saturday you are more than welcome to come help load the truck and say goodbye. 

The unloading, however, is making me nervous.  Remember how excited you SAID you were that the Nortorious Band of Misfits is moving to SLC?  Well I invite you to prove it.  Want to meet us? Care to help?  Email me if you can help us unload on Sunday evening May 26 in Sugarhouse.  (Yeah I know it’s a Sunday, sorry.) norface5@yahoo.com.  I’m not above begging, please come help us!  I will pay you in hugs – something that I don’t usually give out for free and that typically makes me want to vomit.

Favorable Winds

Just a little sail on the San Francisco Bay with my family. 

My dear departed Uncle Jay left his boat to my dad and Jay’s friend Scott was kind enough to take us out on Saturday.  I was surprised how much my kids enjoyed it.  I usually think sailing is boring, but with Scott piloting and me making speed demands it was a perfect activity for the minions.

Oakland Highlights

Song:

Oakland means Green Day to me.

 

Quote: 

 

Been spending lots of quality time with the minions these days.  Life has slowed down as we wait for our move, transition has us in limbo.  This means adventures.  We don’t do bored.

We’ve been hitting Oakland a lot these days.  It’s an easy trip, maybe 20 mins and just on the other side of the Caldecott Tunnel.  These are our favorite Oakland Highlights.

1) Oakland Temple. 

Yeah, it’s a Mormon thing, but can you really live right next to a beautiful building like this and NOT go check it out?  Also great if you need to take some Quinceanera pictures in your ball gown.

The other day we were in the visitor’s center at the Oakland Temple (free, beautiful, educational, friendly, you should swing by when you have 30 mins to kill in Oakland).  One of the missionaries ask Jude who Jesus loves and Jude pointed to a worker dude in a suit and said, “Jesus loves the Prophet.”  Needless to say the guy was flattered.

2.  The Oakland Museum.

This place was closed for years so people forget it exists.  It was my first visit there and I highly recommend.  It’s like a secret sanctuary of interesting culture tucked in the middle of Oakland, right near Lake Merritt.

Another day we went to the Oakland Museum which has a California history exhibit.  And not just the boring Natives and panning or gold stuff!  The exhibit went deeply into the depression where people lived in pipe towns all the way through the freewheeling 60’s.  We brought our own relic with us and Jim was delighted to contribute to our tour.  How many children will be able to say they danced psychedelically to the Grateful Dead with their grandfather who was there through it all? 

Creepy Mermaid.

 

“To qualify for citizenship in Pipe City you must be jobless, homeless, hungry, and preferably shoeless, coatless and hatless.  If one also is discouraged, lonely, filled with a terrible feeling of hopelessness and helplessness, one’s qualifications are that much stronger.  One belongs.” – OAK Post 12/3/1932

 

Shroom-room.

No utensils with Ethiopian.  Kids were thrilled.

3.  Adventure Playground 

Later that same day we ate Ethiopian food (have you tried it?  I’m addicted.) and went to what must be the most dangerous park in America: Adventure Playground in Berkeley.  This place is like a shanty village constructed by the never never land children.  You can check out hammers, nails, and wood to add on to the already terrifying structures.  You can check out paint and slap it anywhere.  There are no rules.  It’s chaos and dangerous and it is FUN.  I rolled the children down a hill in a barrel. When was the last time you did that?  It’s so refreshing to go somewhere where the kids aren’t overparented and overprotected. 

4.  Daiso.

Berkeley is also home to one of my favorite stores ever: Daiso.  Have you been to Daiso?  It’s a Japanese Dollar store selling the most absurd AND useful products.  It’s on Telegraph at Durant.  Great place to check out, and if it makes you hungry for Japanese food there’s a sushi joint next door.

Corn dog holder, me and Ashley at Daiso

5.  The Fox Theater

Some Guy gave me tickets to Crystal Castles for my birthday a million months ago, so Leslie and I got to see their show at the Fox.  This theater is amazing.  The highlights are the creepy Buddhas and the ornate ceilings.  If you get a chance to see a band at the Fox you should go.  Concert was excellent – Crystal Castles are electropop/goth and everybody dances in the pit.  There’s something cool and kinda scary about being in the middle of hundreds of dancing bodies, but it’s pretty peace and love so it’s not that dangerous.

 

 

Leslie’s got punk in her soul.  What if I stole her little tiny jacket and wore it with my striped pants?  THEN I’d be Beetlejuice!

I’m developing a new appreciation for Oakland beyond the hair shops.  But the streets will always confuse the hell out of me because they just don’t make any sense.  Oh, one more place you absolutely must visit if you happen to be in Oakland:  The Chapel of the Chimes Mausoleum.  It’s this amazingly ornate Julia Morgan building that houses thousands of dead people’s ashes in the most peaceful gorgeous rooms.  Go check it out too.

 

Before the War

Hedwig and the Angry Inch – the Origin of Love:

In Plato’s Symposium, a party is being held in which a series of speeches are given paying homage to Eros. "The Origin of Love" is taken from the speech given by the playwright Aristophanes.

According to the speech, long ago,humans were composed of two people stuck back-to-back, with two faces and eight limbs. Male-male humans came from the Sun, female-female humans from the Earth and male-female humans from the Moon. The gods, out of jealousy, split them in half. Now, throughout our lives, we are always trying to find our "other half."

Quote:

 

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You were looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart;
We called it love.

Picture:

 

Story:

Nope.  Not getting any explanation on this esoteric nonsense. It’s for me.  

Mimi's Burn Book

  The other day my sweet 6 yr old Mimi came running up to me proudly declaring, “I have a diarrhea!  I write in it.”
Excuse-moi?
OHHHHH a Diary. Got it.  Not going to correct that one, Diarrhea it will remain. 

Thankfully, Mimi wanted me to read her Diarrhea so I didn’t have to read it without permission (which I fully intend to do until she turns 18).
It’s good to get your thoughts out.  These are Mimi’s.

 
“My mom is a Unicorn.” 
Mama reaction:  Nicely done.  Flattering.  Good phonetic spelling.  Capital letters and a period.  Brava.

“I Hat my mom.” 
Mama reaction:  Thanks a lot, school.  Teaching my kid to read just so she can send me hate mail? 
Whatever, it’s the badge of motherhood.  She hates me!  Or she wants to open a hat shop with me. 

“I have a boyfriend he is so nice.” 
Mama reaction:  OH SH!T. 

“I like boys because they are nice.” 
Mama reaction:  Horror.  No.  No no no no no.  This is not happening already. 

 
“I love my feces?” 
Mama reaction:  I’m glad you have a diarrhea to write that in.