The Symptoms

Once upon a time I had easy breezy pregnancies.  Three kids in three years was no sweat.  I don't know if it's my advanced maternal age (ha.), the altitude, the different father, or some other mysterious reason but my body is talking back during this pregnancy.  It has opinions and they are scornful.
Let me start out by saying I have a high tolerance for physical irritation.  Like most mothers, when I feel sick I medicate and march on.  It takes a lot to lay me out.  But each trimester (so far) has come with a new set of unfamiliar problems.
Having a pregnant body is like the city of Chernobyl.  Everything was going along fine until nature took over and made me its subject.

First Trimester Aggravations
1.  The barfs.  Barf central 24/7.
2.  The starves.  Couldn't decide if I was hungry or needed to barf, but usually it was both.
3.  The smells.  I finally went out and bought face masks like they wear in Asia.  And a slew of candles.
4.  The sleeps.  Cannot keep my eyes open.  Have frequently taken more than one nap a day.
5.  Migraines from hell.  My migraines are super rad.  They last at least three days and are essentially debilitating requiring me to hide in a dark quiet room while it feels like a gnome is mining for gold on one side of my head.  The migraine medicine exacerbates my barfing and isn't good for pregnancy.  The barfing migraines give me digestive problems.  Every issue I have builds on other issues until the best I can do is lay around and moan.  Any one or two of these issues would be bearable, but all five at once made me nonfunctional.  And when you have the barfs and the smells you end up with the messy house and the overwhelms.

Second Trimester Frustrations
Once the barfs tapered off (though not completely, I still barf a few times a week) my body was like, "Hey let's try some new pain!"
1. Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.  I didn't even know this existed until I caught it.  And by caught it I mean hit the second trimester with my fourth baby. The symphysis pubis is a stiff joint that connects the two halves of your pelvis and in 1/35 the ligaments can overreact and cause serious pain.  I'm only about 21 weeks and not that great with child but my body Chernobyl'd and now I can't move my legs independently to a. Put on pants. b. Climb into or turn over in bed or c. do anything that involves moving one leg away from the other without a ferocious pain in my pelvis.  It feels like David Beckham kicked me in the crotch hard enough to bruise me and then kicked the bruise a few times for good measure.  Tylenol provides no relief.  If you see me out of my bed at all know that I am dealing with level 7 pain.  Anybody got any tips?  I'm only five months in, if this gets worse I'm going to be in a wheelchair by the end.

2.  Sciatic nerve pain.  Yippee.  This one is when a nerve on your back is slightly pinched and pain shoots up and down your body until you limp.  For this I try sleeping on a tennis ball and by morning it's usually ok.  During the day it builds until I find myself practically (ok, sometimes literally) crawling.

I seriously do not understand why my body is rebelling in this way but I simply will not capitulate to it's tyranny.  I remind it every day that it's gotta pull itself together because this is NOT going to be my last pregnancy.  I will function, pain or no pain, and it's all worth it because

IT'S A GIRL.

and more than that, it's my sweet Hush's girl.