Boating: Not so Bad After All!

Most of my lake experience has been in California where all lakes are run-off from snowy mountains.  Lake Tahoe might as well have glaciers floating around, it’s so cold.  When people say we’re going boating I think “Hooray.  I can sit for hours in a freezing lake while my dad tries and fails to pull me on skis.  Where do I sign up.”  Then there was that other time when we went to the Delta and Paige skied over a floating dead dog.  I have had a lot of boat experiences, and for them I’m grateful, but I really had no idea that going boating might actually be leisurely rather than terrifying and causing frostbite. 

But guess what happens in Utah?!  The lakes are warm and inviting!  They’re clean and not surrounded with beer cans and feral dirty animals!  The people aren’t “boat people”!  I have been so fortunate to be invited out on Hush’s friend Mike’s boat a few times and it has given me a whole new perspective on waterskiing.

¹boat people

noun \ˈbōt\  \ˈpē-pəl\

a : Individuals with mustaches who drink copious amounts of beer in the hot sun all day wearing tank tops while smoking Camel lights.  (See Antioch) Boat people live for their boats and have nothing else going on in their lives, they are defined by their boats.  These are also the people who crash their boats and kill everybody.

Our accidental impersonation of boat people.  That’s a lollipop and coke, btw.  All of our camping gear was loaded on top of the boat and it felt dangerous and a little scary.

The people I have been boating with are the opposite of boat people. They are stream lined not too fancy highly efficient boat/campers.  I have been endlessly impressed with them.  All are educated and have real full time jobs, none drink copious amounts of beer, only one wears a tank top and he’s excused because it’s hipster-ish and he’s my bf so he can do what he wants, the women are lovely and well maintained, and none of them smoke Camel lights. 

They do, however, know how to have a lot of fun.

The first time we were invited we went to that big lake I didn’t know existed somewhere near Provo.  Apparently this lake used to be full of toxic waste, but it has been cleaned up?  I was only informed of the toxic waste once me and my three children were fully submerged in the lovely warm water.  Toxic waste means warm water and not very many fish.   I googled it. It’s fine.

Jude was dying to try wakeboarding so Hush took him out and managed to get up with a little kid in his arms.  Now Jude says, “Yeah, I can wakeboard.”

The next time we went the kids were on their first weekend in Utah with Houdini!  He came!  They had a great time in Park City with him and his girlfriend.  Conveniently he showed up the same weekend Hush and I were invited to Lake Powell.

Lake Powell.  I had NO IDEA.  How have I never heard of this place?  It’s like Disneyland for grownups. 

I was really worried about the whole camping thing because camping to me means no sleep and feeling disgustingly grimy for the 24 hours that I can tolerate it. 

Not so at Lake Powell!  The camping is clean camping – no dirt to get into everything, no hiking, no overwhelming amounts of sand!  You just drive the boat up to any random little inlet and your group is all alone for miles and miles.  You can have fires and light off fireworks with no fear of burning the place down.  There are no trees, so that proved really really hot, but the water is warm so we just floated all day long. 

It looks like the Grand Canyon, but filled with water.  And it’s unbelievably huge, 250 square miles.   Lake Tahoe is 22 miles.  We drove for an hour and a half on the boat and traversed maybe a third of it.  It’s a labyrinth of canyons filled up by the Colorado River.  Dear family, we should all go here because it is rad. 

While we were there we wakeboarded.  Apparently I know how to wakeboard.  The first time I ever tried to wakeboard I was at Girl’s Camp at our level sleep away on some little lake.  Some stranger boys drove by in their boat and I climbed on.  They had a wakeboard but nobody knew how to use it, so I lied and said I wakeboarded all the time.  Then I jumped in the water (in my contraband bikini) and taught myself how to wakeboard while my leaders watched in horror from the shore.  I waved as I went by.  And then I got kicked out of Girl’s Camp.

But I knew how to wakeboard! 

 

Our fearless captain and Katie B.  Mike is a video editor and producer.  You may have seen Tummy Talk?  He made that and he makes other amusing videos.  Clickity clack here. for more vids.

 

E – one guess what dance I’m doing.

The lovely and talented photographer Jessica, boring me, and the also lovely and talented singer Katie B.

 

Hush et moi mid canyon.  Cam – I wore three suits a day.  I think I got in eight bathing suits in 48 hours!  Record.

The newlyweds Jay and Haylie.  Jay is one of Hush’s BFF’s.

Spending time together sans children, a rare occasion and must be documented.

And yes, I am the bravest of the very brave.  This picture is zoomed.  It was really really high (and very very deep, we checked many times before we jumped).

I am currently a big fan of boating and especially Lake Powell.  Jude wants a “little green wakeboard” and Mimi wants “a pink wakeboard in my size with flowers”.  Want to know what’s better than having your own boat?  Having a boyfriend whose generous friends invite you along!