Remember Books?

I used to read books.  I used to be able to read books.  I quite enjoyed reading books.

I am a book failure these days, but I refuse to blame myself.  It’s the world’s fault that I am becoming less of a bibliophile.  I hate it, but it simply is not my fault.  Look at you – you’re as guilty as I am.  Sitting there reading online.  For shame!

My degree is in English Literature and when I’m working I teach College Level Reading and Writing (cue panic by me: have I made any grammatical errors thus far?  No? Good, the state of American Education is okay).  This means I try to get my students to grab a book and read it cover to cover, left side of the page to right, top to bottom, page by page. For me this has become a nearly impossible task.  I have entered into a terrifying phase of illiteracy.

Same book for about a month?!  Good thing it’s a reread and my absolute favorite book of all time.

IT ISN’T MY FAULT!

The internet has changed the way our brains approach text.  We have become accustomed to approaching text differently simply because of layout, layout that is obviously not consistent through the cyber world.  We look directly at a page and float our eyes around to decipher what is the most important information on the page and WHERE to begin.  So now when I pick up a book my brain gets a little bit tired.  So many words!  Nothing highlighted! All one color!  No pictures (wow, that’s really embarrassing)! My eyes go directly to the paragraph breaks and I get distracted and overwhelmed without even being aware of it happening.  My brain has become a lazy reader without my permission.

My lifestyle has changed so that I cannot acclimate to books quickly enough to make reading them worth it.  When I’m sedentary (which is RARE) I’m only allowed personal thought/brain time for seconds at a time.  Supervising my children swimming seems like the perfect opportunity to push my way through a good book, even a fast read.  My kids are water safe enough that I should be able to commit to getting through a page at least before reengaging with them.  NOPE.  I can’t even get through a paragraph because the acclimation causes me reading lag time, even if it is milliseconds.  I lose my place, I read the same paragraph three times retaining nothing.  After ten minutes of attempting to read while observing my children I give up and toss my book aside.

Where does a book fit into this picture of me and Circe? People would drown!

Enter my beloved iPhone.  All hail the glorious smart phones!  Abandoning my gigantic book I can text, scan my boring facebook newsfeed, pin fabulous things to pinterest all while watching my minions with one eye.  Sorry book, you’ve been trumped.  It’s just too easy.

Alright, so that leaves reading time for right before bed.  I can probably do about 30 mins to an hour of reading before bed.  But my book and I are already in a fight!  Forget it, book!  Quit oppressing me!  I’m going to listen to the scriptures be read to me on LDS Channel while looking at pinterest and Instagram.  So there!  Take that, literacy!

Oy, the guilt.  The shame.  The stack of half read books on my bedside table.  The thrashing of books I drag around hopefully for weeks thinking I might be able to sink my teeth into them for more than 30 seconds.  They lay as sad monuments to my tragic decline of reading.

 

This actually happened and it’s so rare I took a picture.  Also, it was at Aspen Grove Family Camp so all of my kids were happy in their little camp classes and I read to my heart’s content.  Also, the internet didn’t work.

Ugh.  I need to go off the grid.  I’ll put that on my To-Do List.  Which is on my iPhone.

 Hush “reading” one of my required reading if you’re going to be my friend books.

 

It’s not all bad though.  Audible is my secret weapon.  I am in love with listening to books on my headphones; currently I’m “reading” Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. 

Benefits: can listen while my hands are busy, get all my jobs done while fully entertained, never have to remember where I left off. 

Drawbacks: people keep talking to me, I can’t actually hold nor smell the book, I have to take notes of amazing quotes by remembering and writing them quickly on my phone, the books cost one million dollars, I can’t put the book in my bookcase to show off how smarty-smart I am.

This is the best piece of fiction I’ve read in years and the audible guy narrating it is the best reader I’ve ever heard.  I am in love with Eugenides prose (though admittedly the story can be a little intense some times).  He is a Eugenius.  Middlesex is the name of the street the family lives on, it’s a multigenerational American story about an amazing Greek family I wish I belonged to.

 

 

(Note: I just ended this whole post about literacy with a sentence that ended in a preposition.  I disgust myself.)