Come Little Child and Together We’ll Learn

“Teach me to walk in the light of His love

Teach me to pray to my Father above

Teach me to know of the things that are right.

Teach me, teach me, to walk in the light”

Today was the Primary Program at Church.  It was Mimi’s second such event and Jude’s first and it is a BIG DEAL for them.  They’d spent nine months learning the songs and themes and then the last three weeks preparing for the program.  Mimi and Jude both had one line each. 
The Primary in this ward is one of the main reasons I moved back to this area.  There were 93 kids in the primary.  93.  And not ONE of them was a screw ball naughty kid.  The leaders in our primary have it together and work really really hard.  I’m so thankful for them.  It’s because of their long suffering that the kids are so enthusiastic about church. 
As a theater person I consider this their debut. There was no way I was going to let MY kids be the naughty kids up there – the ones who stick out their tongues or race through their lines or, heaven forbid, not sing. This family has standards and I will sink to any level to achieve them.

The morning started out very poorly. Jude had spent the night at his cousins and was a basket case by the time we went on our morning family bike ride. He whined and complained the whole time.  When everybody was finally piled in the car and on our way I began the expectations discussion.  I told the kids the story of “Naughty Seth” an invented bad little boy who was four and acted naughty during the primary program.  He didn’t sing, he made mad faces, stuck out his tongue, etc.  The imaginary bishop took imaginary Naughty Seth and spanked him in front of everybody at church.  And also, Seth did not get a donut.  This plan worked like a charm.  Reward and a dollop of fear.  All the grumpy frowns were eradicated by the time we made it to the chapel.  Haha!  Victory!
Mimi and Jude wanted more than anything for their Dada Dx to be at the program.  It’s been a long time since Dx had been to church with the kids and even longer since we were seen together in public, much less church.  The kids and I are in the ward where everybody knew us when we were married, so this invitation was a double whammy:  not only was it going to church but it was pretty literally going as our original family in what I consider to be my home ward.  I was really nervous.  Had the situation been reversed I don’t think I would have had the courage to attend.  But he went and the kids were thrilled to have their Dada there.  I’m so thankful for the spirit of real Christian goodwill extended toward all of us today.  My favorite part about the LDS doctrine is the belief in progress and genuine brotherly love. 
Where was Some Guy you ask?  He has chosen to live in and attend the same stake where we had so many problems.  I respect his decision to stay there, but I chose to remove myself from that toxic environment.  I have nothing negative to say about him nor his entire family, they are good people following divine inspiration.  We are both doing what we believe is best for our children and Mimi, Jude and Silas are certainly thriving.  The kids and I are where we belong now – we have lots of real friends and are not ostracized nor condemned on the basis of false information and gossip.  Peace and love reigns here.  Come on in, the water’s great.
As soon as they were all up there and I could see my little four year old boy singing his little heart out and Mimi doing all the actions enthusiastically I couldn’t help myself.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  I’ve always gone back and forth about teaching children so young about a specific dogma, but my trepidation was quelled today as I saw my beaming children.

Outside our church building, 2008 on Jude’s blessing day.  And now he’s so big and in the Primary Program!
All the months and months of wrestling them into their church clothes, wrangling the three of them as they bug each other on the pew, trips to the time-out room (Spiritual Prison, as Ellie named it) all of the weeks I’ve thought to myself “Who cares?  We get so little out of church because it’s so hard to keep them focused” but attended anyway all paid off in one perfect second.  They knew the songs and loved to sing them.  They know how to pray.  They have a modicum of understanding about how the gospel can give us peace. 
All of this because so many teachers volunteer their time and have committed to attending church.  No one forces them to be there.  The teachers don’t have to be patient with Jude when he’s grumpy.  The leadership could phone it in or sub out their responsibilities, but they don’t.  They are pulling a huge weight and my children are soaking it all in and learning more than they could possibly believe.  Thank you all for your love and service.

While it was certainly their moment, I felt today an undeniable confirmation that I too have done right by these kids.    It doesn’t really matter what things are wrong or right in my life as long as they are given all the access they can have to education, both religious and secular, and that they know how much they are loved by their family and their church leaders.  Their Dada could see the results of my laboring to keep my kids in church every single week – no matter what my personal life was like – and that they are happy here.  My struggle is paying off as they learn to love the gospel.