TRIP 7/9 Settling in in Paris

Day I don't even know anymore. We've been here forever. Jan 2 and 3? Yeah, that sounds about right.
We needed a take it easy day. Mimi, Silas and I did laundry in the morning (rejoice!) and then we had a cold date with Notre Dame. Too crowded. Waited in a line for a while, got cold and left for Sainte Chappelle which was just spectacular. The two chapels are right on that same little island in the Seine. I've never seen stained glass windows like there are in Sainte Chappelle and I can't imagine a time when it would have just been some congregation's every day parish. Surely it must always have been a monument, a piece of art. Notre Dame's got nothing on that church (other than a humpback but who wants a humpback hanging around? Not me.)

Our Lady

Sainte Chappelle

After we hit the Latin Quarter in search of Boeuf Bourgigion and any other typical French food. It was a shmorgasborg. We did a prix fix for €15 and each of us got different appetizers and main courses so I finally devoured some mussels, Jude gobbled down salmon in bechmal sauce, Mimi got her Bourgionon and Silas his plate o' meat. It was our best meal in Paris, but I must say Mimi's version could compete. They tasted very similar and she was quite pleased.

Silas with his meat plate.

The following day we were all up and ready to go by 7 am for no reason at all. Jude and I keep waking up at 5 and I was out of benedryl.

So we made a day of it (though it was still dark out) and headed straight to Angelina's fancy tea room for their amazing hot chocolate. After that we waltzed at dawn through that main park between the Louvre and the Champs Elysee to the Musee D'Orsay subway and off to Versailles. Because I am a questionable parent I let Mimi watch that Claire Danes movie Marie Antoinette a few weeks ago to get her interested in all things French.

Mimi pretending to be the star of all these people's pictures.

When we arrived in Versailles there was the most magical mist that prevented seeing even the building from the gates. It was like walking in a cloud. And then it was like waiting in lines in a cloud. Followed by waiting in crowds in gilt rooms. On this visit Versailles charms were rather lost on us being so oppressed by all of the people and the rather boring audiotour. But, being that we ARE the fun, we had a grand time dodging crowds and photobombing other tourists. We made it about an hour and a half and hopped back on the train for home. Versailles done, and it'll be waiting for us should we want to explore it in more depth sometime down the road.

We finally just sat in a corner.

Naps. My magic sleeping trick beyond running these kids into the ground has been to use my meditation app every time I want them to go to sleep. Calm is my favorite app ever. They like the body scan ones to help them settle and moderate their breathing. The guided meditation only lasts about ten minutes but they're always out five minutes in.
When we woke we headed over to the Musee D'Orsay and blitzed the line with our Paris pass, but when we got inside it was a complete zoo. My ideal museum experience is like the Getty in LA: few people, some important paintings, not too many rooms. The D'Orsay is such an impressive building the art is almost secondary, or tertiary when you're fighting crowds to even see the paintings. So we dined and played cards in the cafe behind the clock and then wove through some rooms to see the much requested by Silas "paintings that are a mess close up but when you stand back they look like something" Monets. The highlight was the grand ballroom we happened upon where we performed our classy whip-nae nae. We walked 6 miles that day. It was time to retire.

The ballroom where we danced

Silas instructing us on Monet

TRIP 6/9 January 1

Sundays are usually down days in big cities. Add that to it being a holiday and we had to be very selective about our activities.
First thing in the morning we tried again to take our clothes to the laundromat. It was lightly snowing.  None of these joints have websites so we just tried our luck . . . and failed. It may be time to buy some new clothes!

Silas needed some time to himself so we let him rest in the hotel while Mimi, Jude and I went in search of the Grevin Wax Museum. My phone decided to not work outside of the hotel today so navigation was very difficult. We had paper maps but it was cold and we didn't know which metro exit we'd used so we got turned around. Turns out I'm heavily reliant on my maps app. After much walking we found it, it was basically a hole in the wall, and were ushered in to a completely black room and told to stand still. I thought we were going to be murdered. It was literally terrifying. Suddenly lights flickered here and there around the room and I saw faces staring at me. I couldn't tell if they were real or wax, but they were all around and within arm's reach. Was it a maze? A hall of mirrors? Mimi, Jude and I clung to each other. Then some kind of light show started. We realized we were standing in a ring of about fifty people inside an octagonal room covered in floor to ceiling mirrors. At each corner was a pillar with a display of an elephant or a snake. Laser type lights in rainbow colors flashed and danced and lit up the room. It was like being in the Haunted Mansion's stretching room but all mirrored like the eternity mirrors in the temple but with the tiki room above. The sets kept changing. There were loud jungle noises. It was SO SCARY.
After ten minutes of fearful paralysis the lights went up and we were guided through a back door and into the rest of the scary museum.

Note the freaked out faces at this freaky place.

I don't like wax figures. They're creepy. But I like seeing how tall famous people are. Most were French celebrities but there were some politicians, historical figures, artists and Hollywood celebrities. You'll be saddened to learn that Angelina and Brad no longer stand next to one another. Downstairs were torture scenes from history including Joan of Arc and the inquisition. Fun.
After the Grevin we found ourselves at an adorable cafe for "the best crepe I've ever eaten" according to Jude. Ham, egg, emmental cheese.

We taxi'd back to our hotel because my stupid phone wouldn't work and then planned our afternoon.
I've been to Paris many times but I'd never made the pilgrimage to Jim Morrison's grave. He was buried in Paris because he'd come here to detox and get away from his drug riddled life so he could focus on writing. And then he overdosed in a bathtub. He's in the 27 club (Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain, Winehouse etc all died at 27).

Familie not feeling Gay.  Feeling scared of the cemetery.

The kids indulged me and we bundled up, took a subway over there, and trekked through the old graveyard in the dusk. We had to consult two maps to find it but find it we did and it was a cool experience. The rest of the graveyard was like a city of art and mourning. We all liked Pere Lachaise and would recommend.

Morrison's grave

By this point Si was driving us all nuts.

My kids have been obsessed with large scale death since I've been giving them history lessons that apply to Europe: they know about the Holocaust because Mimi wanted to learn about Anne Frank, I've shown them YouTube videos about the French Revolution so they wanted to know all about the guillotine, they learned about the Black Plague and how 800 people died per day in Paris wiping out 1/3 of the population of Europe. I'm prepping them to visit the Catacombs later this week. It's far and away my favorite thing to do in Paris.

Childhood at the Carousel below Sacre Couer 

After Pere Lachaise we took the metro to Montmartre. It was getting dark but Sacre Couer was all lit up. We ran for the carousel and caught the last ride and then we raced up the stairs to the church. I thought we'd just tag it and run down again but we went inside and were swept up in the warmth and light and smell of candles. The ceiling was covered in a huge breathtaking mosaic. I've been in a lot of churches but the spirit in that building was so peaceful and exactly the cherry on top I needed to end this most magical of days and start what promises to be a peaceful year. My children (on their own accord) sat for nearly an hour in the pews while a nun and some priest guy sang in French and Latin.

This whole trip is filled with memories, but that time in Sacre Couer is written on my heart.

TRIP 5/9 New Year's Eve in Paris

Paris continued to punk me yesterday, but we rolled with it. We first had to pick up our Paris Passes which prepay for all of the museums, activities, and transit. When I got there of course they had canceled my order for no apparent reason so I had to double pay and wait for a reimbursement. I'm in $1000 to Paris and she better pay me back post haste. I also left my stupid credit card at the out of the way office so we had to back track that afternoon because thankfully someone got in touch with me to tell me it was there. Hassle.

On the Big Red Bus

Outside of Notre Dame

We jumped on the Big Red Bus tour which is a hop on/hop off. On the bus we sat at the top in the front and that was an adventure in and of itself. There was a headphone tour that narrated us through the city. We jumped off at Notre Dame for some food, but mostly we just kicked it on the bus learning about the sites and planning where we'd revisit in the days to come. I always do these bus tours in new cities to help orient everybody.
We eat at least one crepe each day.

After our bus tour we hit the hotel for an early night, after finding a grocery store to stock our hotel room with pastries.

We had a coffee maker in the room that we used to make Ramen

Just regular old French kids riding the Metro

The following morning was Dec 31. We walked 5 minutes straight to the Louvre and sailed by all the lines. I'm learning we are museum people. There's something for everyone at the Louvre and we plan to go back this week. Highlights were the Greek statues and the mummies. There was a lot of naked and it was a fun anatomy lesson. Quote of the day came from Mimi who said, "I've seen enough penises to last me a lifetime."

Me plus three

They dug the statues

All alone at the Louvre

A harbinger of what was to come later that night.

We ate more crepes and onion soup at a local cafe and then I went for it and ordered the escargot. I lied to get them to try it and I think they were glad that they did. It tastes like chewy garlic bread. I wouldn't eat them on the reg but they're a good cultural experience. We're still looking for reasonably priced beef bourgionon for Mimi.
After that we went back to the hotel to take a pre-NYE nap.
For five hours!

New Year's Eve was spent on the Champs Elysee eating fancy French food then we took a hilariously crowded metro ride to the Eiffel Tower. New Year's in Paris at the Eiffel Tower life goal accomplished!

At the hotel we watched a Bonne Annee 2017 Cabaret show with amazing acts including magicians, painters, dancers, and all kinds of other circus type acts. Featured in the background were, of course, cabaret ladies! Naked from the waist up wearing little other than feathers on their backs. Nobody mentioned them on the show and it took a solid ten minutes of watching for Mimi to realize hey! That's inappropriate! We had a good talk about various cultural sensibilities and continued watching without any more ado.

Except for at the end. Apparently after midnight they bring out the weirdos.
One of the last acts in an otherwise appropriate show was a magician guy dressed as Michael Jackson. He did a whole act and was very clever with his tricks.
And then he stripped.
And he was wearing sparkly pasties.
ON HIS BOOBS.
Which he spun like a goofball while I dove for the remote.
And then he started to take off his pants and I just barely got it off in time.
We died of laughter. Who's ready for a good talk about transgendered people?!

Silas being weird.

2016 Year in Review

(Photos to be added when I have my computer, but otw just look at my Instagram where I documented all of these happenings -- @nortorious)

People keep saying 2016 was awful. I've been somewhat on that train, but, being New Year's, I thought I might go back and grade the year's performance based on its merits and drawbacks as far as my life is concerned.
I'm going to put this up front: Trump's win was a major downer for me. We operate in two worlds: our personal worlds and the larger community. I have always been very invested and involved in politics, protests, and the plight of the minority (women, children, blacks, gays, impoverished, etc.) I want equality in opportunity and pursuit of happiness. I can only be so happy when other people are scared and oppressed. It affects me deeply. It feels greatly hypocritical to me to just take whatever in stride and be over it, but I'm the type of person who wakes up at night worried about the young girls in India's sex trade and black parents having to explain to their children how to respond to racism. I know, I'm weird. But this is how my mind is occupied and it's what motivates me to do what little I can: to be a voice for equality in my home and in my classrooms, and here on my silly blog. These things matter. We need to be aware and vigilant in overcoming them.
<steps down from soapbox>

So we'll run this year at a deficit politically, but personally let's see if I'm in the black.
In calendar order:
Bowie died. -5
Philo was born the next day! +50
Name battle, really really bad experience -15
Ended up happy with his first name. +5
Britney Spears' crazy Instagram that brought me great joy. +1
Sooooo much laundry! -10
Kid learned all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody +5
Mark's 40th birthday +5
In costume, Post partum, bad wig. -5
Pam and Jim as Brit and Justin in denim. +10
Philo seriously ill with RSV. -100
My baby nearly died. Seriously. He was on life support -- if the machines didn't help him breathe he would not be alive. -50
My baby lived! +priceless
Lou also in the hospital with RSV -25
Lou separated her elbow while Philo was in the hospital -10
Ski'd with Jim +5
Pumped while skiing, breastmilk spilled all over me. -5
Bernie gained traction! Vive la revolution! +5
Mimi learned to cook +10
Silas wore the wrong shirt for his school performance. -5
Silas wore the wrong shirt for his school performance again.+5
Found a dentist who will give me laughing gas for a cleaning! +5
Root canal. -5
Boys break dance show + 5
Snugly babies, all the time + 20
Anna's famous blog post + 5
Riding roller coasters with Jude +5
Hush moving in and out and huge problems there. Overall an awful relationship 6+months. - 50
Disneyland! + 15
California Adventure is still stupid. -5
Summer camp success! + 15
Giants lost. - 10
Val and Alina baby announcement + 30
Teaching the kids poker + 4
Pokémon go! + 1
Teaching three good classes + 15
Grading 75 papers every few weeks -25
People I know voting for Trump -25
New church that has a great spirit and a nursery + 10
Leonard Cohen dying - 5
Camille's baby Lorenzo + 5
Bronwyn's wedding + 5
Ashland trip + 5
Girl and Boy Scouts -5 for hassle +5 for rewards
Niya's in my life again + 5
So is Bobb + 5
Aubrey's baby Ansel + 5
Five kids on plane + 10
Thanksgiving in Danville + 5
MJS obsessed with dancing in my highest heels + 5
Halloween outfit success! + 10
New friends + 10
Rad not new friends. So many great friends. + 25
Dx supportive + 5
Trip to Europe just me and my big kids + 100
Missing my babies - 15
Gave kids the entire collection of Disney movies on VHS for Christmas +5

Ok, not counting the priceless survival of my newborn baby, I think that adds up to +521 good things to -375 bad things. 375/521 = 72%

I give this year a C-. It's science.

That seems about right. I am so very thankful for all of the joy that outweighed the bad, without which this would have been a very dire year indeed. Not my best year but certainly not my worst (see my whole family's 2011). 2017 is going to get an A.

TRIP 4/9 Si's 7th Birthday and a Travel Day

I pulled everyone out of beds this morning at the crack of nine. It's Silas' birthday! Our bike adventure continued on Silas' birthday, December 28. We metro/trammed back to the Rijksmuseum and strolled through at the kids' pace. Once again I had a million mama feelings watching them soak everything in and be genuinely curious and appreciative of what they were seeing. They may not remember everything they saw (who can?) but they will remember that art is important. I think their perspectives shifted when they looked at the old furniture and tableware as art rather than functional pieces. I wanted to die of joy when they saw that blue and white style of china and knew that they'd seen that style before in Grandma's house and on the lamps next to my bed. They saw the baroque tables with carved legs and wooden inlay and observed that we had something similar in our front room that I'd inherited from Uncle Jay. I hope these experiences will translate into a life of culture appreciation and incorporation into their lives in the future.
The Night Watch was supposed to be the highlight of the Rijks but for us it was definitely the scale model of a warship. Jude and Silas circled that thing five times counting cannons and pointing out cool stuff.

Amsterdam is a photo op in every direction.

Outside the Rijksmuseum

 We had left our bikes outside the Rijksmuseum locked overnight and I worried about them the whole time.  But there they were when we returned the next morning.

Jude counting cannons

Kicking it with the Night Watch

Back on our bikes we did some bike fighting and took slightly less populated streets back to our drop off site. By the time we got there Jude had had it. It was cold and we were hungry and tired so we sought haven at the library.
Silas' number one birthday request was a visit to the Nemo science center. This is one of Amsterdam's main attractions and it is fantastic. Imagine the Exploratorium in SF but new and fancy. And super crowded. I get overstimulated so I'm hiding out while the kids play and learn. All I need is some ear plugs and a giant coke.

Pretty cool to turn 7 in Holland!

The Nemo Museum was great but super crowded.  It's a Children's Museum like the Exploratorium or the San Jose Children's Museum.  There was one particularly interesting part: the sex part.  Yes, there was a sex exhibit in the children's museum.  Supposedly it was for age 12 and up but it was pretty graphic with models.  I snapchatted it because that is why snapchat was invented, right?
I'd go back to the Nemo but only on a less crowded day.

Science museum

It made me mad that it was so cold the whole time because Mimi had the best outfits on and I got so tired of the Cheetah jacket.

Concerning exhibit on racism that wasn't translating well.

Day Five was that one where I had to navigate us via train to a tiny house in Paris. As a funny funny joke my phone quit working. As funnier joke, the Paris Metro is one of the most complicated and we were headed for a part of town I'd never seen before. As the funniest joke of all our Airbnb was sketch central and we did not feel safe there.

Backpacking in Europe summed up in one photo.

Our backpacked crew ready to hit Paris

But everything started out ok. We took the Thalys Ams-Paris (children are like $24. Reason number one million to take your kids to Europe -- cut rate trains, free everything else). It was about 3 hours of snacking and playing games. I'd had enough forethought to screenshot instructions to our destination and info on how to get into the house, but there of course was no direct line from Gare du Nord to Pantin-Aubervilles so that was touch and go. Navigating a new subway always takes a few tries to familiarize the directions, tickets, and level of aggression for getting on crowded trains.
I knew it was a bad sign when the train to our new Airbnb was like 10 stops away.

When we got out of the metro the place was crawling with ne'er-do-wells, all of them men. We hustled sans maps with our fingers crossed down dark alleys passing wrought iron covered windows through a gate and to our shady apartment. It was decent inside but they must have taken very careful photos because the ones on Airbnb looked much friendlier. We stayed a few hours while I used the heaven sent wifi to find us a better place then complain and cancel our week in that scary joint.

Lots of time in the Paris Metro.  Trains are fast and frequent.

Why are all hotel elevators in Europe so tiny?

Smashed in the elevator with backpacks

Then back through the scary streets, in the dark this time, we hit KFC and took the metro to a happier place. Obviously the kids didn't know Paris looked anything other than that ghetto part of town so when we left the metro and were face to face with the Louvre they were thrilled.

We're sleeping three to a King size bed and one person on a fold away, but by 8pm we're warm, happy, and comfortable in this fancy joint. Success!

TRIP 3/9 Ams Day 3

Apparently we needed sleep. We all woke up at 1 in the afternoon, shocked that we'd slept so much of the day away.

Amsterdam subway is clean, easy, and fun.

We jumped on the metro and went to rent some bikes at Centraal Station. I think they were like €9/day plus 3€ insurance (yes please, stupid bikes cost €450 to replace).
Amsterdam is the city of bikes and it makes sense. It's all flat (except for over the canals) and the streets are mostly narrow. There are very few cars about but there are silent trams coming at ya and freeway type bike lanes all over.

How do people not lose their bikes all the time??

I have done a lot of brave/perhaps stupid things in my day but I daresay taking my kids on bikes through Amsterdam surprised me by requiring the most courage and vigilance. I was psychotically protective. I'm surprised I didn't bail checking on them every five feet. I needed a rear view mirror.
Having all four of us in single file was the only functional way to go which meant that I had to part the seas and navigate at the front. Mimi mostly took up the rear and that presented problems of its own because she and Silas fight and try to knock each other off their bikes. There was a lot of screaming.

Heavy bikes ready to roll

Our first stop was mama protested Ripley's Stupid Believe it or Not. Eye roll by me. But kids were free and it was Mimi's number one thing to do so in we went. To my surprise it was rad! Here's the thing with Ripley's: is anything real there or not? Should I believe this crap or is it all circus sideshow stuff? Museums need to be all factual or all made up, combos just don't work in that capacity or everything becomes suspect.

Right before Si lost that rad green hat

Si's last day as a 6 year old

After Ripley's in Dam Square it was everything we could do to make it to Museumplein (1.8 km, no idea in miles) without being nailed either by trams, cars, motorbikes, regular bikes, pedestrians, or, most likely, by each other. And the sun was setting. We made it down there, locked up our bikes and left them overnight on the curb in the middle of everything. The museum was closing so we planned to come back in the morning, provided we were awake.

Badges had their hotel address and 10 Euros just in case

Silas' favorite tram spot

We grabbed pasta in Leidseplein then took a tram then a metro to right outside the front door of our hotel. We are public transportation wizards.
Because I am a genius I hired a babysitter from a service in advance for yesterday evening so I could get some child-free time. The sweet sitter was named Noortje and she came right to our hotel and played games with the kids and took them in the hot tubs while I shopped and had dinner. I needed that break.