Educating Young Minds

Mimi, 14 months, doing a little light reading.

Mimi and I knock out out weekly schedule generally without issue. We have nap times down to a science and reliable babysitters. But today things went slightly awry.

On Mondays she stays with Dx in the morning, Tuesday Grandma has her for 4 1/2 hours in the afternoon. Wednesday and Friday she comes with me to school where a high school student meets her and takes her to play and eat on campus. All of my high school students know and love Mimi, she's the mascot.

On Thursdays I teach at one school in the morning until 9:40 while Mimi and Dx sleep in, go to Kindermusick at 10:30 for 45 mins, Mimi naps and then it's off to Grandma's while I go teach at the college for 3 hours. It's our big day and things need to go exactly as planned.

Educating about Oppression and the Man


Today my mom had a very important obligation and needed to pick Mimi up at the college rather than me drop her off at 1. So I got to take my rambunctious toddler to college for 15 minutes before class. My mom picked her up near the beginning of class. The students were surprised, especially being that they've watched me get more pregnant by the day and adding a toddler to the mix was fun for them to see. She proceeded to grab the white board marker and teach the early comers a thing or two, but not before she snuck under the fence to bang on the windows and disrupt another class.


But it was after Mom picked her up that the fun started.


Having toted her to the car up two flights of stairs, Mom buckled Mimi in her carseat and slammed the car door. With her purse, phone and KEYS inside! Every mom's worst nightmare!


Mom had to call the campus police who attempted to jimmie the door, but to no avail. They ended up breaking the back window to get into the car after half an hour. Mom picked glass shards out of Mimi's hair all afternoon. Having glass all over the car isn't good on the freeway, so Mom had to take the car (with Mimi) to a self carwash and vacuum it out. Mimi is terrified of vacuums and screamed the whole time as mom pumped quarters into the machine.


Everything turned out just fine, save for the busted window and Mom's feet. In true fabulous form, she did it all in three inch heels.
Mimi and Gramma Pamma, buddies from Day One.


Way to take care of the problem, Mom! You are still the best babysitter ever and I appreciate your car window sacrifice to free the baby from the locked car! I can't wait to hear about your adventures on Tuesday.

Bow Down, April Fools

While I admire Paige's attempts to nail me on April Fool's Day, I must admit that I am the best practical joke player in the whole wide world.

Here are some guidelines for successful pranking:

1) Pick your target. I ALWAYS pick Jim, my dad. Every year he knows I'm going to get him, but every year he falls hard for whatever my husband and I dream up. Pick someone smart. They think they can't be fooled.

The sitting Duck. Middle, green shirt.

2) Plan ahead. I plan months in advance.

3) Have accomplices. Relatives are good, but officials in offices are better.

4) Center your prank on something about which the person cares a LOT. They have to be a mildly obsessive person.

5) Create diversions. Make sure something really exciting happens on March 31.

6) Distance yourself. Yes, you may not be there to see that look on their face. But if you're not in the room smirking, it takes them longer to trace it back to you.


Here's a history.

Year 1: Case of the Missing Missionary

Joke played on Jim. Jim was obsessing over Phil who had recently entered the MTC. Phil, being the first and only of us to serve a mission, was the golden boy and he was all dad ever talked about. It bugged everybody, so we decided to make his worst fears realities. Or so he thought.

First, I used my detective skills to figure out where he'd be at this time. He was in Georgia visiting Ellie. Thus unable to answer a home phone call.

Initially, we wanted to use a Male voice with knowledge of MTC lingo to call Jim's home phone. That person flaked. We had a back-up plan.

Called Val, told her to call dad's cellphone and leave a message saying that she checked (and oops! erased) a message on the home phone and it was some guy from the MTC saying that Phil had left the MTC and was enroute escaping to Los Angeles.

When Dad got the message, it was late at night in Georgia. He proceeded to call the MTC asking about the "missing Missionary." The people at the MTC checked his bed, and confirmed that Phil had not escaped.
The victim. Clearly paying attention to my baby. He's very important, you know.


Year 2: If it Sounds Too Good to Be True . . .

Joke played on Jim. Less success with this one because I was in Europe.
Jim was obsessed with selling his house in Hawaii.
I created a false email address under his Real Estate Broker's name and emailed him a pretend offer on his Hawaii house for double his asking price.
He says he didn't fall for it, but I kinda copped out and gave up the joke because I was afraid he'd call the guy and embarrass himself.


Year 3: Twins
Joke played again on Jim.

Jim has an identical twin named Jay. They are opposites and bitter rivals. His twin is a bachelor, Jim is a family guy, but that is only the beginning.

This year, we had Jay call dad asking him to process the offer on a house down the street, he had faxed it to Kinkos and would Jim please go pick it up and take it to the realtor? They were going to be neighbors and in the same ward.
Jim freaked out.


Jay, behind Camille. He's not getting up because it's his turn. He's getting up because he refuses to play charades.

THIS YEAR: The Court Case

Joke again played on Jim, of course.

Jim is an attorney. Attorneys are registered with the State Bar. The State Bar facilitates complaints from clients about attorneys, but you have to do something really bad and negligent to get in trouble with them.

Poor Jim. Yesterday he got a letter in the mail saying that the CA State Bar had received a complaint and that the matter was currently under review by the board. My poor dad was nearly disbarred yesterday. By Me.


Yes, family, I am the reigning champion. I will give an honorable mention to Jeff who instigated the blog pranking you saw yesterday.