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Why Uncle Jesse, you ask? Well, just look at him. He's beautiful. He is my first and only celebrity crush, save the King (who is more of an interest than a real crush, mostly because he is dead.) I guess you could say they bear a strong resemblance. Apparently, I have a type.
The love affair started long ago, when I was about 10 and we had a weekly date on Friday nights. He was not far away, only in San Francisco where he lived in a "Full House." I don't know if those people on the show were actually related, but they called him "Uncle Jesse" so I've run with that for the last 16 years. When Becky showed up, married him and bore him ugly little twins, my heart was broken. "Have Mercy" indeed.
Uncle Jesse and I split hairs over one small issue. His Beach Boys affinity. I loathe the Beach Boys, but managed to sit through one of their concerts for the sole purpose of catching a glimpse of the Adonis. He was playing the bongos. In my mind, we made eye contact and had a moment.
I don't follow John Stamos' career, mostly because ER died a long long time ago and let's face it, Stamos' career since Full House has been average. But that doesn't make me love him any less. What DOES make me occasionally question our future together is the belly button issue. You may have noticed that UJ doesn't do chest scenes. This is because he thinks his belly button looks like a "dwarf's nose." It does. It's too obscene to post on my blog, but if you must know, click here.If you're out there John Stamos, drop me a line. I think you'll be glad you did.
Purple in London?
Scary druggy looking pink in London?
Brown in Barcelona?
Blonde with wicked roots?
