Obligatory Costume Post

Mimi's first Halloween, but certainly not her first costume. We've been working up to Halloween by wearing a different costume every day.
Dx and I went to one party as Dorothy and the Tinman, and Mimi was Toto the skunk. Tomorrow, however, we're going as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.
Yes, I'm going to work in a costume. I certainly hope other people do. Nothing is worse than being the only one in costume.

Bumbo

Mimi: Circa 3 Months



Watch this hilarious stop motion video of stranger's babies in Bumbos.

Dx vs. The Kitchen Sink

My husband Dx likes ice cream. He really, really likes ice cream. If he could live exclusively on ice cream, he would.
At our local Creamery, there is a ice cream dish called "The Kitchen Sink." 8 softball size scoops of your choice are loaded up with 8 toppings of your choice, along with 3 bananas, heaps of whipped cream, nuts and cherries.
The Kitchen Sink is intended for groups of six or more.
However, the Creamery offers free ice cream for a year for the gluttons who finish this dish by themselves AND beat the standing record: 1 hour, 19 minutes.
One of Dx's best and worst qualities is persistence. The man NEVER gives up on something he's decided to try, especially if other people know he's making an attempt.
And thus, the Kitchen Sink.

When the waiter brought out the ice cream, a hush fell over the restaurant. It's an indecent amount of ice cream for one person to even think about consuming; it should be accompanied by a song ala Ziggy Piggy from Bill and Ted's. The rules allow one five minute bathroom break, and whatever happens in the bathroom is your own problem.
He started out at a good pace, but as we hit the 30 minute mark the spoon slowed dramatically. He kept saying, "I've hit a wall. I need to go to the bathroom."
After five minutes, I went in to the bathroom after him. He emerged, bloodshot eyes and a crazy look upon his face.
When Dx sat back down, I could tell the contest was as good as done. Our friend Glen encourged Dx to stop eating, but I used every tactic I could to get him to pick up the spoon again. I had 10$ riding on this! When I saw him scoping out garbage cans, I allowed him to throw in the ice cream soaked towel.
This is what he looked like minutes before he gave up.

He probably got about 1/3 of the way through what must have been three gallons or more of ice cream. Dx was sick for the rest of the night and much of the following day. However, late Saturday night, Dx looked me in the eye and said, "I think I could have finished it if I hadn't eaten lunch."
True to form, I think he may eventually try to eat the Kitchen Sink again someday. But in the meantime, the mere mention of a sundae makes him dry heave.

Below are pictures of Mimi at rehearsal for mom's play 'Guys and Dolls' at the Village Theater.
She is 8 months and, though never having climbed stairs before, undertook the challenge because they lead her onto the stage. A Star is Born, my friends.

Everyone has that One Song

Dx and I often sing the obnoxious sax riff from a completely horrible elevator muzack song. We have never been able to place the song, even singing it for friends has not provided any leads to figuring out what the song was called, nor who sings the aural atrocity.
Tonight, after a lifetime of annoyance, I have learned the name of my most loathed tune. It's called "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty and I hate it. It is the antithesis of punk rock and roll.
Here is an equally disgusting video for this most abhorred song. Enjoy. Please note the drummer's beard.


Here is a review of the song from Rhapsody.com:
"You know that soft rock song "Baker Street" with the mentally contaminating saxophone hook? You can thank Gerry Rafferty for that one.
Do you have a least favorite song of all time?

God Save the King

I object to this recent tribute to the legend.


Elvis' favorite sandwich was a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I don't eat bananas, so I don't know if this sandwich is in fact delicious. Recently, Reese's has put out a limited edition Elvis peanut butter cup with banana cream. I find this revolting.
Will someone please buy one and tell me how it goes? I believe that it might demote a grade A candy to grade F, see Paige's post.

P.S., Alex's husband wins the Dork Contest, hands down, no contest. The Celine Dion fan club, with a membership? For Shame.
One more thing. Dx is blogging. Shall we encourage him and read/comment his blog?

Dork Contest

Welcome to the Dork Contest.
Tonight my husband opened his mouth and the words, "That's Optimus Prime. Aren't you going to watch him transform?" fell out of his mouth. And then he hung his head in dork shame and begged me not to blog about it.
Can your husband top this supreme dorky comment?

Why I Failed Relief Society

I am not crafty. I don't like crafts, I don't like to use stamps, I don't like to make scrapbooks. Sure, sometimes I browse through the scrapbooking isle to look at the fancy stickers, but no, I have never thought that decoration around a picture and cutesy little words make the pictures any better. When I make books of pictures, I order them from snapfish.com.
When it comes time for that big homemaking craft night, count me out. It seems like everything there is just one style of decoration! While I appreciate that other people have talent in this area, I am just not one of them and the raffia accented decor does not fit in my home. My husband would come home and think I'd been possessed if one of the following appeared hanging from my door.


I say, why use raffia when you can use glitter? Glitter and raffia don't seem to go together very well. If your project would look alright nestled in some strawlike material, I don't want to pay $8 to make it. If it has glittery pizazz, maybe I'll give it a shot.
Like these pumpkins, for example. I would happily make these.

Or this tree. It's glittery.


I live in a Raffia Free Zone. It's sparkly here.

I am Nortorious, and I have a messy bookcase.

Under the sink.

The bookshelf from hell.

How do people live with this type of disorganization? Every day I look at these areas and think, today is the day that I will sort and clean these areas. And then I find much more amusing things to do and they go uncleaned.

I'm in the 12 steps to recovery about these areas:

Step 1- Admit that I am powerless over these areas and that they've become unmanageable
Step 2 - Come to believe that only a higher power can rescue me from the mess. Possibly Ellie?
Step 3 - Make a decision to turn my will over to higher power. Again, possibly Ellie?
Step 4 - Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of each area. (Found: plastic bags, books I've read, other junk)
Step 5 - Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I'm doing this step via my blog.
Step 6 - Am now entirely ready to have God (Ellie?) remove all these defects of my bookcase.
Step 7 - Humbly ask God (Ellie?) to remove my messes.
Step 8 - Make a list of all persons the bookcase has harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Um, no one. Only I care.
Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Dear Dx, sorry that the bookcase is a mess. It is my fault, but I secretly blame you in my heart.
Step 10 - Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Yeah, admitting I'm wrong? Never going to happen. Maybe I'm not ready to move onto this step. I'll let you know when I get to 11 and 12.

(Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs)

Thank you, fellow bloggers, for allowing me to reveal my embarrassing bookcase and under the sink area.

Pictorial

Went to Monterey with my mother's Relief Society. We hiked and stuff. Cordons, MacDonalds, Pam and Jim

Mimi has no jammies that fit. She is only 8 months and has already grown out of 12 month size clothes. She is a giant and it pains me. It may have something to do with the fact that she spends her life eating. Eat your heart out, Alice. At least your clothes still fit.

This is a poor sick old man in a hospital cot.
Anyone guess who it is?
It was tight quarters and I kicked him to the cot.

Mims is a pacifist. Thanks to Paige for wardrobe.

Mimi impersonating a naughty bunny.

Panties For Peace

Send your panties to Myanmar!
The oppressive regime in Burma (Myanmar) is currently holding 2500 people in labor camps because they were protesting the Government. The protestors are pro-democracy, many of whom are Buddhist monks. The Burmese government has been screwing up for years, but now there's a way to get them back.
Send your panties to their Embassy!
Evidently, the country's superstitious generals, especially junta leader Gen. Than Shwe, believe that contact with women's underwear saps them of power.
"It's an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture," said Liz Hilton, who supports an activist group that launched the "Panties for Peace" drive earlier this week.

The Lanna Action for Burma Web site writes: "You can post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today. Send early, send often!"

Now we all know what to do with all that wedding lingerie that never gets any play since we've nearly doubled our wedding weight.

Think You're Voting For Mitt, Do You?

It's really tempting to make grand sweeping statements about the candidates, about whom I know next to nothing. I like to advocate the crazies and I watch both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, but I had a tough time actually picking a real candidate. I figured that because I'm LDS and Mitt is LDS (and his mom has my same name) I would probably end up voting for him. However, when I took this quiz asking my personal positions on the major campaign issues, I was surprised at the results.

Take this Presidential Selector Quiz

It does not require an email address. Answer the questions, click through the ads, check out your results. You may surprise yourself.

D H

People keep referring to their "DH" on blogs and comments. I don't get it. What do these letters stand for?

1) Dumb House Elf?
2) Dorky Helpmate?
3) Disheveled Horndog?
4) Daring Hula Hooper?
5) Dashing HeMan?
6) Delicious Hot Chocolate?
7) Disgusting Hampster?
8) Dreary Herbivore?
9) Diabetic Halfwit?
10) Doofus Hermaphrodite?

Elucidate me. Who IS one's DH?
All you bloggers and your lingo.

Second Day Greasies

WARNING:
PREPARE FOR UGLY.

I am plagued by the Second Day Greasies.

Our hairdressers tell us to wash our hair every other day, otherwise it dries out and gets brittle. I believe in this myth, but how do you cope with Second Day Greasies?
I wash the first day, condition and blow dry using products. I brush before I go to sleep, then wake up with gross looking hair that belongs nowhere but in a pony tail or under a baseball hat.
My sisters and I all basically have the same texture of hair, except mine is more fried because, well, life's a bleach and then you dye. None of us have ever grown our hair really long, except Cam who also suffers from SDG.
I see other women wear their hair all fluffy two days in a row. Do they just wash and blow dry every day? They must have wicked split ends. Maybe I'm using the wrong products? What should I be using?

Right now I use Zerran for colored hair, which is great for the first day but does nothing to help with day two. Some times I deep condition with L'oreal's after color conditioner from the box.
I know this is neither hair nor thair, but maybe YOU have conquered the Second Day Greasies?

P.S., please note eyelashes and clear skin in this photo, to counteract all the ugly up top.

Cord Pride

You need cords? We've got cords.

Our cords created a lot of problems for us.
We used to bicker over cords. Dx would accuse me of hiding cords,
I'd try to throw them out, Dx would buy more and then lose them again.
I was bound by cords.

Then, I conquered our cords. I encourage you to try this in your home.

It may be ugly, but it feels so good when I always know where to find my ipod cord, camera cord, phone cord, or whichever cord Dx is missing.

.

Got a lot of comments on the Daddy Dx and Ice Cream picture.
Thought you'd appreciate the whole visual story.

Children, Children Everywhere and not a Bum To Spank

I've been conducting a survey.
What is the ideal age gap between children? How many children should I have, HF willing?
Here are your options:

18 months
2 years
2 1/2 years
3 years
5 years


Celia is three years older than Paige. They hated each other growing up.
Paige and Nate are about two years apart. They never got along, ever.
Nate and Ellie are 3+ years apart. They're buddies.
Ellie and I are 2 1/2 years apart. She only barely tolerates me now.
I am 2 1/2 years older than Val. We lived together alright, but now don't hang out much.
Val is 2 years older than Phil. They get along famously.
Phil is five years older than Cam. They get along fine.


I am 26 I have one kid and have about 14 years left to have kids. What's my game plan?

Mimi and Dad, chatting.

Playing in the sand.

Unwilling sharing of ice cream cone.

This picture is dedicated to Alex's husband who maybe missed this day of school?

Average failure rate: 27%

Celia Fae, caloo, calay he chortled in his joy.

Celia is my eldest sister, our babies are 3 1/2 months apart. Today is her birthday.

10 things you probably didn't know about Celia:

Item 1:

Celia is an information superhighway. She is omniscient. If there is a secret, Celia either knows it or will pretend to know it so that you unwittingly reveal it. She is amusingly crafty and tricky. Celia used craftiness to win her husband: when her student ward was doing Secret Santa, she put down her favorite music was boy music -- Boston and others of that ilk -- just so that boys would like her more when in reality, she much prefers Erasure and the Indigo Girls. Closer she is to fine.

Item 2:

Celia is a gifted pianist. She would love to accompany in church and pines for the day that she is called to be ward organist.

Item 3:

Celia can tell any story better than you can, even if said story actually happened to you. Once you hear her tell your story, you start to believe that this far superior version is the real version, not just some lame event. Celia is a master in the art of embellishment. You say you got into an argument with another mom in the park? Celia says you got into a shoving match which escalated into a gang war with scores of dead bodies, and she even saw the aftermath and heard the gun shots. Much better story, no?

Item 4:

Celia is the oldest of eight kids. Mom had Cam when Celia was 20, and Celia was appropriately horrified when the nurses asked her if she was going to visit her sister's baby in the hospital.

Item 5:

Celia is not short for Cecelia. Celia was not named after the local Mexican restaurant, she was named after Ben Jonson's poem 'To Celia'

Drink to me, only, with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise,
Doth ask a drink divine:
But might I of Jove's nectar sup,
I would not change for thine.
I sent thee, late, a rosy wreath,
Not so much honouring thee,
As giving it a hope, that there
It could not withered be.
But thou thereon didst only breathe,
And sent'st back to me:
Since when it grows, and smells, I swear,
Not of itself, but thee.
-- Ben Jonson

Item 6:

Celia used to teach swimming lessons to kids. Currently, Celia does not have a pool and it makes her really really mad. During the summers, Celia is a swimming pool slut. She will bring her kids to your pool even when you aren't home, then make them clean the place up before they sneak out.

Item 7:

Celia once owned a Honda scooter, a volvo, and then a red Jeep Wrangler. I think she crashed the Jeep Wrangler. Dad was mad.

Item 8:

Celia used to date the son of the guy who owns Scandia in Vacaville. His name was Finn. Finn was just one of about a million guys Celia dated. Celia went through men like water. I believe that between mom, Celia, Paige, and I, we have collectively kissed over 500 men during our single years (I have no idea about E,Vand C). The whole concept of "saving your kisses" was lost on us. Celia probably brought in the most action. Don't tell Crl.

Item 9:

Celia's favorite thing to do is read. She has read her way through a number of libraries, the librarians in this area all know her name. Celia reads an average of five books per week, her favorites are chick lit and child development books.

Item 10:

Celia never wears the same outfit twice: she is a fashion maven. I have never seen Celia repeat and outfit, which is remarkable because she is far too busy shopping for Alice to shop for herself. I think she uses magic to come up with outfits. She is also adept at accessorizing, I have never seen her without earrings (nickle free, of course).

Happy 37th Birthday to Celia, who is now twice 18 1/2 years old. For her birthday, Celia would like a record amount of comments on her blog.

The Goldie

Ever had your picture taken and hated your smile? All gums and too happy looking? Everybody has a signature smile, but did you know that a smile can be adjusted to achieve perfection?

When I used to look at my smile in pictures, it bugged me. I adopted a new smile that I use for pictures. I call it my Goldie. When people say, "Cheese" I say "Goldie!"

This is my old smile. Not very Goldie.

Goldie Hawn is my smile icon. My smile is too upper mouthy, so when the cameras are fixed on me I imitate Goldie's smile my dropping the lower corners of my mouth for a more square look.

This is a Goldie at Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin.

This is also a Goldie. Yes, hair was purple and skin white. No sun in London.

I know you're trying it right now. It's okay, no one is looking.

This is Ellie's signature smile.

This is Pam's signature smile, on the right in the squares.

I encourage you to find a smile to copy, but you can't steal The Goldie. She's all mine.

WWPD: What Would Paige Do?

Today I am in love with Paige. She shops for my kid and babysits with no advance notice, thus a post honoring the force of nature that is Paige.

Growing up with Paige was like growing up with a bad-influence aunt around the house. Ever read those books 'Bad Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want'? Well, Paige could have written that book. I may be notorious, but Paige is infamous for a variety of reasons.

Reason 1: The Paige Bite

When you let Paige bite your candy bar, she invariably takes the biggest bite her mouth can handle. This is an accepted and expected practice. Any time anyone shares a bite of anything, one runs the risk of the biter taking a Paige bite. Even E's husband and small child will complain, "You took a Paige bite!" if you take more than your fair share when biting.

Reason 2: "Though She be but little, she is fierce."

I have memories of Paige getting in trouble during her high school years. She and Nate would fight, she would get in trouble for sneaking out, she'd bring home curly haired liberal heathens, her boyfriends would blow things up and then come over bleeding and begging for medical help. When Paige got married, Dad gave her husband Shakespeare's play 'The Taming of the Shrew,' not because Paige is shrewish, but mostly because it contained the line "though she be but little, she is fierce." You do NOT want to get on Paige's bad side, by some sort of divine power, she knows exactly what to say to hurt your feelings and scar you to the core. However, if Paige is picking on someone other than you, it is HILARIOUS! It's kind of like Russian roulette: everybody's number eventually comes up as the subject of taunting, but when it's not your turn the game is very fun.

Reason 3: WWPD?

Another coined phrase in our family (which you are welcome to adopt) is "What Would Paige Do?" This is MUCH more fun than the traditional WWJD. When you get into a confrontation that has you on the verge of tears, think to yourself What Would Paige Do? Paige would rip 'em a new one. Paige would tell them exactly what she thinks and Paige would get exactly what she wants. She has no fear. Paige may always get what she wants, but she damn well deserves everything she gets because she has more confidence and moxie than any other woman I know.

Reason 4: All Access Pass

Paige can get in anywhere. I once saw her sneak three children over the age of 2 and herself onto an airplane using a borrowed ID, just weeks after 9/11. She can get into any concert for free and sneak all the way up to the front. Her method is to simply overwhelm and barge through any and all barriers.

Reason 5: Paige the Guinea Pig

If you want to do it, Paige has probably tried it. She has the medical knowledge of any nurse, has dealt with every physical ailment, been everywhere and read (skimmed) almost anything. Need to know the side effects of this pain med? Paige knows. Want to plan a trip to Europe? Paige will tell you where to go. Have a rare tropical disease? Paige has either had it or will give you meds to stop it. Her pregnancies are worse than yours, her kids are louder, her husband fixes less things around the house than yours does.

I feel sort of sorry for the people out there who just know Paige via her blog, which is mercifully tame in comparison to the real Paige. Aside from being tough as nails, Paige is also extremely generous. She loves my baby -- the picture above is just minutes after Mimi was born, below is P with Mimi dressed as a chicken.

Sex in the City

Yes, I am preoccupied with this topic recently on my blog. Consider, I have recently stopped nursing, if that means anything to you.

My Comcast On-Demand has old episodes of Sex in the City. Yes, I am five years too late, but I had a life when the show was originally broadcast. Furthermore, it is inappropriate and the soft-core pornography requires a lot of fast-forwarding, so On-Demand is the perfect solution to catch up on this ubiquitous pop culture reference.

What is it about this show? Am I supposed to identify with these women?

Samantha is a whore.

Charlotte's a snot.

Miranda's a bitch.

And Carrie, Carrie is just plain ugly.

So, yes. I identify.

Back to the ugly. How did this bridge troll get famous? Even with subtle plastic surgery, she looks like she got hit by an ugly truck. Bad roots, scary wrinkly face, crazy mole thing, and those clothes?! THIS woman is a fashion icon?

Maybe Sex in the City's target audience was ugly drunk tramps, or those who aspire to be ugly drunk tramps. Watching it is not unlike watching a train wreck.

Excuse me while I go pre-order my tickets for the movie (coming out May 2008).

Model Child

Everybody thinks their kid is the cutest kid they've ever seen. They think, "My kid could be a model!"

Gap.com is currently doing an "Open Casting Call" for babies and children. What's a good parent to do?

Should I enter her and make all the other less adorable babies feel bad about themselves and develop eating disorders?
What do we do if they want her to do topless?
Will the fame go to her head?
Will everybody think that she's all looks and no brains?
She can't even crawl, how is she going to do on the runway?
My baby is not allowed to date Pete Doherty.
How is she going to break it to Tyra that her day in the sun is over?
Should I bring in her portfolio of baby bikini shots?
She's had one naked photo shoot, do you think it'll ruin her chances?
How long do you think it'll be before she is our primary financial earner?
Guess she's just going to have to cut down on all those cheerios. Too many carbs.

Aiming for a PG-13 Rating

Growing up in the LDS church I knew very little about sex and sexuality. Basically the philosophy is "no sex before marriage" but how to reconcile and understand those crazy hormones?

What happens if you make mistakes? You talk to HF and your bishop, but how explicit do people get? Have the expectations of moral cleanliness always been exactly the same, or are they more strict now?

I did a little research and found basically no specific doctrine on this topic. The guidelines are general: don't get aroused before marriage.

Some of us need a little more guidance.

This list is for the youth in your life, but NOT YOU CLAIRE ASHCROFT, STOP READING NOW!

Dear Youth, You are Still Breaking the Law of Chastity if You…

1. Participate in activities known in the parlance of our time as “dry docking,” “Levi loving,” “body surfing” or anything resembling this activity, whether laying, sitting, or standing on your head. (No loss here. You’re better off for it. It sounds painful).

2. Intentionally see a member of the opposite sex naked or partially naked. No skinny dipping, changing in the same room, streaking etc. (There goes half the fun of college).

3. Engage in any kind of sexual fluid exchange or activity that could potentially result in fluid exchange. No watching either.

4. Touch or kiss anybody sexually, including yourself. I don’t know how to kiss yourself, but just don’t do it. That kissing and touching “anywhere that isn’t covered by a bathing suit” excuse is just silly. Anywhere that isn’t covered by garments is a better line of thought, and hickeys are also bad form. (That means YOU, teenagers at amusement parks!)

5. Engage in phone sex, cyber-sex, lustfully thinking about sex or any other kind of sex. Basically, no sex for you. “In other words, as we have frequently said, there should be total chastity of men and women before marriage and total fidelity in marriage.”[i]
[i] Spencer W. Kimball, ‘The Time to Labor Is Now,” Ensign, November 1975, 7.

And for Celia: A Ho Bath is not some crazy Asian thing. A Ho Bath is a sponge bath wherein you only wash the "most important parts" or the parts necessary for being a ho.

You KNOW you've taken one, you probably just didn't know what they were called. Now you know, you're welcome.

Casting Ballots and Stones

Not Voting For:


Barack Obama, simply because Oprah likes him and I think Oprah is a false prophet.


Hillary Clinton, because she looks like a man from behind and a Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton presidential succession sounds monarchial.


OvenMitt Romney, because his mom has my same name and I don't want that kind of exposure.


Fred Thompson, because his names kinda sounds like Fred Flinstone and that's archaic.


John Edwards, never trust anyone with two first names.

Am voting for Rudy Giuliani.

Reasons:

1. Lots of wives, mistresses.

2. I'm not tired of 9/11, yet.

3. Named after my favorite Huxtable.

4. Socialized medicine is for socialists. LDS people are NOT socialists!

5. Name sounds like a Sopranos character.

6. Who really wants to talk to their own kids?

7. Looks pretty white. White means right, right?

8. Will probably be Rude-y to other world leaders.

9. Looks decent in a dress and lipstick.

My Triumphant Return To Blogging

Yes, the individuals to whom I impart knowledge have discovered my blog. Yes, they tried to make problems for me with my employment. But NO, they have not succeeded in taking my blog from me!

Let me tell you, it was a nightmare. I will not be blogging about my job, there are too many issues. Oh, the responsibility of being a community figure.

They know my name, they know the general area where I live, they can find me on the web. These factors are all part of the package of being associated with education.

If you're curious about what I've been dealing with, please visit:

Federal Privacy Website

CA Ed Codes

I will not be discussing this drama any further.

One of the hardest part of blogging is the self-censoring. My name is no longer on here, I've given up on trying to sell my book through my blog. My problem is, I have mean thoughts and I want to air them. You never know who's reading, so I guess it's important to present yourself in a inoffensive way. I, however, am an equal opportunity offender.

I hear there's a new movie coming out, 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.' Maybe this is a movie about my life. I always seem to make people mad and get into trouble because of the mean things that fall out of my mouth. For example, I once wrote a story about a friend of mine. Though I changed her name, she figured it out that the story was about her and got really mad. I have learned the "don't say bad things about people and don't make grandiose sweeping judgements" lesson over and over, which I assume means that I'm not learning anything at all.

Rather than learning a big fat lesson from the blogging debacle, I'd rather continue to stir the proverbial shit and write whatever I darn well please. Sorry if you're offended, mother. My favorite types of blogs are the mean ones.

I like Rynna's blog because she's unabashedly opinionated.

I like Paige's blog because she only thinly veils her rage.

I like Celia's blog because she almost admits how annoying church can be.

I like Tiff's blog because she posts pictures of poop.

I like www.perezhilton.com because he's a big ugly jerk and he knows it.

Got a problem with that?

Here is my secret opinion of the day:

I believe in legalizing gay marriage and it really made me mad that churches lobbied against legalizing gay marriage because I think preventing other people's happiness is contradictory to Christian morals.

So there.