Some pictures

All of these pictures are worthy of their own blogs, but here you are nonetheless.

Readers of Paige's blog: This is what happens when you don't read to your kids.

Mimi got some new shoes in LA last weekend.

Celebrating her heritage. She's a thai jew.

Model Behavior

My fabulous friend Niya has recently returned to her former career of fashion model. Last week I went to her very chichi fashion show "Fresh Faces" for GenArt. I don't know what GenArt is, but let me tell you the whole thing was just like they do it on TV.

There was a big runway and seats lining both sides. The models paraded down the runway as though something important was happening at the other end. Once they got there, they posed and were photographed. Then they sauntered backstage, ignoring the girl passing next to them.

Here are some highlights:

There was a big bottom girl. Her thighs touched, gasp!!

No bras, lots of boobies.

All the girls were tall and thin, but not all were as beautiful as Niya.

Everyone in the audience was snotty and dressed to the nines. I sat alone, Dx watched Mimi at home. I wore an H&M black satin dress and my leather jacket.

It lasted about 30 minutes, 5 designers or so. I liked Podoll and Sara Shepherd best.

Niya did the model walk stomp. She was good at it.

Wardrobe

My baby is almost 7 months old. I am not yet into my pre-pregnancy clothes. Do I sell everything and buy a new wardrobe, or keep all my non-stretch jeans in hopes that I drop those last pounds while eating ice cream and sitting on the couch?

Shall I commit to my new size? When do you say, "Alright, this is how big I'm going to be this year" and throw out all the boxes of clothes?

The Gangs

The closest I have to a complete group photo:

I have 7 brothers and sisters. I also have 3 brothers-in-law, two parents, 9 nieces and nephews, one dog niece, one dog nephew, two niece rabbits, a daughter, my own dog and a husband. All of these people are my immediate family, I see them all the time. In total there are 30 individuals.

My family is so big there are cliques.

The cliques change every so often, but right now here they are:



Clique 1:

Super Macho Clique

Nate

Dad

Phil



Clique 2:

Nap and Cuddle Clique

Celia

Paige

Alice

Mimi



Clique 3:

Plays and Clothes Clique

Cam

Mom

Nor



Clique 4:

I don't know what to name this clique. It's debatable.

Ellie

Val

Griffin

Bea





Clique 5:

Automotive

Mark

Carl



Clique 6:

Films, Gadgets, Computers

Dx

Jeff



Clique 7:

Scream and Run Around

Sol

Henry

Fifi

CeCe



Yet unrecruited:

Claire and Max. They have not yet proclaimed allegiance to any clique, but they're too old for the scream and run around clique.

Ashley Tatum Hodapp

Ashley the bride, Ashley the bride. La la la la, Ashley was a cute bride.

They did not play the here comes the bride song at all at this wedding. I felt gypped.

The wedding was in Lake Tahoe at a fancy shmancy restaurant. Ashley designed everything, it turned out beautifully.

Ash is my best friend from high school. She married the right guy. His name is Josh. That's him, in the suit. She's in the Vera Wang. I picked it out. This is the cake topper.

Good, Cause I Hated It Anyway.

Husband buys a motorcycle when you're six months pregnant?

In the words of Paige: get over it.

Husband turns 30 four months later and buys himself a Porsche?

Get over it.

Dx is a free spirit. Free spirits gotta have fancy toys.

Unfortunately, one of the toys is currently M.I.A.:

Missing:

We came back from Dx's business trip to San Diego and his completely superfluous stupid organ donor machine was gone.

Hurrah.

We're hoping it was towed (it was parked in someone else's reserved spot) but maybe it was stolen.

I don't know and I don't care!

English Composition

Started my new job teaching Freshman Comp at Diablo Valley College. Here are the books we're reading:

If you're one of the 12 people in the country who hasn't yet read this book, here's a review from Amazon.com:

"Economics is not widely considered to be one of the sexier sciences. The annual Nobel Prize winner in that field never receives as much publicity as his or her compatriots in peace, literature, or physics. But if such slights are based on the notion that economics is dull, or that economists are concerned only with finance itself, Steven D. Levitt will change some minds. In Freakonomics (written with Stephen J. Dubner), Levitt argues that many apparent mysteries of everyday life don't need to be so mysterious: they could be illuminated and made even more fascinating by asking the right questions and drawing connections. For example, Levitt traces the drop in violent crime rates to a drop in violent criminals and, digging further, to the Roe v. Wade decision that preempted the existence of some people who would be born to poverty and hardship. Elsewhere, by analyzing data gathered from inner-city Chicago drug-dealing gangs, Levitt outlines a corporate structure much like McDonald's, where the top bosses make great money while scores of underlings make something below minimum wage. And in a section that may alarm or relieve worried parents, Levitt argues that parenting methods don't really matter much and that a backyard swimming pool is much more dangerous than a gun. These enlightening chapters are separated by effusive passages from Dubner's 2003 profile of Levitt in The New York Times Magazine, which led to the book being written. In a book filled with bold logic, such back-patting veers Freakonomics, however briefly, away from what Levitt actually has to say. Although maybe there's a good economic reason for that too, and we're just not getting it yet." --John Moe

Here's what one reviewer says about the book on Amazon.com:

"Every once and awhile, a book brings together cultural trends that until then were rattling around unconnected in the back of our minds. This is one of those books. When and how did porn suddenly become mainstream and cool? It wasn't that long ago that it was a back-room thing, and now it's sexy and desirable. Girls don't want to be pretty anymore -- they want to be "hot," which apparently means something that used to be called "slutty." Read this book, and a lot of contradictory cultural trends suddenly come into sharp focus. A great analysis of modern American trends."

The first day went very smoothly. No one stormed out, no one shouted charlatan and pointed at me, no one boo-ed, and no one asked me my age. I consider that a successful first day of college teaching.

My baby was fine. Dx watches her on Mondays and we met at Sun Valley Mall to eat and nurse. They have daddy daughter time.

I'm using a blog for my class website. It has caused me to learn how to use document hosting. I am a technological genius. Thanks for introducing me to blogging, Celia. It is helping me educate the young minds of Contra Costa.

Now Hiring!

I have a bunch of tasks I need to do but I don't want to do them. I'm not too busy, I'm just too wimpy and lazy. I think I inherited the fear of phone calls thing, but mostly, I loathe selling my work. For this reason, my mother is my biggest advertiser and distributor.

I have ideas, I just am too wimpy to do them.

If you think you would like to do these jobs lemme know:

E-mail publishers re: book

Research and then call LDS distributors

Learn everything about book distribution, then report to me about it.

Research literary agents.

Write a whole bunch of letters, mail them, check back with them.

Make calls to people I am too wimpy to call.

Update webpage.

Contact radio stations that Ingrid mentioned.

E-mail other contacts that people keep giving me, but I am too intimidated to e-mail (because I'm horrible at wording professional e-mails).

We can negotiate your fee.

Giving the people What They Want

My baby is chubby. She always has been. How chubby is she?

Her rolls have rolls.

If she floated in the ocean, she might be claimed for the new world.
The bikini is for modesty. If you spread her rolls, she has fat tan lines.

Let's just hope she grows into her chubs by high school.If you have not had a chance to chew on Mimi's pudge, please make an appointment. It's very satisfying.

Home? Office?

Dinner, anyone? I'll be serving law books dipped in ink with a side of FedEx. Mission: eliminate clean surfaces. Clean surfaces: 0 Dx: 1
Erstwhile, Mimi takes up a new hobby.

Dx and my yobs are really busy this week -- department orientation for me and his new practice for him.

Our house looks like it barfed up papers and office junk.

I'm no neat freak, but I believe in a place for everything and everything in it's place.

These messes are driving me MAD!!

Indian Thriller

Bollywood doing Thriller:
Love the snaggle teeth.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LbvP7dT3Dx0

The Dx Returns

Dx came back from LA and took a night off work. He's been working two, sometimes three jobs a day because he's opening a new office. He likes his work, but he has trouble separating work time from family time. It's fine that he's a workaholic right now, but I miss him a lot and so does Mim.

Tonight, however, was my ideal evening.

1) Dx shows up five hours earlier than I'd expected. He is rested and does not just fall into bed like normal.

2) Rather than just barrelling in, he knocks on the door and when I open it there is a huge package from Betsey Johnson on my doorstep, just for me.

3) He talks to me all about my new classes and helps me sift through possible reading material.

4) We go to delicioso Buckhorn Grill for dinner, which I like because you order, pay and then eat so it doesn't take forever.

5) Dx holds Mimi while I gorge myself.

6) We go to Barnes and Noble where we look through more books together for two hours.

7) Dx puts Mim in and out of her carseat, which I get tired of doing, then he puts her in bed.

8) When we get home we have quiet reading time so I get to finally finish Harry Potter.

(HP only KIND of dies.)

What is your ideal evening?

Here is Mimi doing her new trick of standing up. She's very advanced.

Miss Scarlet or Professor Plum?

Today I had my hiring appointment for my new job, hooray!

The school is in the middle of a sex for grades scandal.

I'm in the middle of nursing my baby and I generally wear fitted clothes (to say the least) and make-up.

If I was going to get the job, I thought it might be wise to look the part: and I was auditioning for the part of "The Ugly Professor."

I went for frumpy.

How did I do?

Sacrificial Superficial

Today I am in love with New store at Broadway Plaza in Walnut Creek. I want everything, but alas, none of the dresses are sufficiently modest.
If I had a day off from modest clothing this is what I would wear:

With this necklace:
And these shoes:

Some people lay their lives on the altar of the temple and consecrate their thoughts, deeds and action as part of their testimony.

I sacrifice fashion.

What do you sacrifice because of your testimony?

(and yes, I know I can still wear the shoes and necklace. But it's just not the same and P.S., they are overpriced.)

I've decided to invest in some modest bathing suits. Please visit http://www.wholesomewear.com/ to help me pick one out.

My Family Hates My Dog

Waffle is my friend. He's a one year old Dauschund mix that I got when I was pregnant. I needed something to cuddle, my baby wasn't here yet. I had only two pregnancy cravings: waffles and puppies (not to eat.)

Without a yard, it's hard to have a dog. You can't just lock him out. Waffle has needs.

Sometimes I try to take him to my parent's house, but they do not love him and Ellie hates him because he whines if he's left outside. He's high maintenance, but affectionate and attractive. He has a lot of energy, but he thinks he is a human and therefore should not be left outside to play.

Here are some good things about Waffle:

1) He sleeps for 10 hours.

2) Poops in the ivy where I don't have to pick it up.

3) Makes me go on walks.

4) Always happy to see me.

5) Doesn't smell, doesn't shed.

My family tries to tolerate Waffle, but their hatred is thinly veiled. It makes me feel bad.

Can't they see that the only thing cuter than babies are puppies with babies?

The Best Day of Griffin's Life

My nephew Griffin is 2 1/2 and he is in love with firetrucks, worships firemen and intends to be a fireman when he grows up.

Today, Griffin's fondest dream was realized.

Dad invited everybody to come be in the public service announcement for the upcoming emergency preparedness fair for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Only a few people showed up so we all got to be stars.

But for Griffin, it was all about the firetruck.

At first, he was just overwhelmed. He just couldn't believe he actually got to approach the truck and meet the firemen. He's frowning with intensity in every picture, but it was probably the most exciting day of his life.

Here he is inside the truck. This is us receiving fireman badges.

Griffin also got to shoot the fire hose. You'll have to wait for the commercial to see him in action.

There was a lot of cuteness while we waited around in 93 degree weather.

We're stars.